Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - Advices

My Mood:  Doin' Alright!

Eargasms: "Sail On"  Artist: Destiny's Child

Check out the song on the imeem player.

Countdown: 59 days till my labor due date.

Last week was probably the busiest week I've had this month. I'm happy to say it has been a very productive week as all projects and events that were previously planned have all been successfully executed. I will have much blogging to do here, but right now, I want nothing more than to wane and enjoy this quite moment. I will keep this short however with that being said, anytime I have a strong opinion I feel the need to write it down. Consider me and emotional exhibitionist as I feel the need to figuratively flash you with my words and opinions.

Sunday, May 20, 2007 - Ode to Food

My Mood:  Chillin'!

Eargasms: "One"  Artist: Christina Millan (feat. Ben Frank)

Check out the song on the imeem player. It's purrrdy sweet!

Countdown: 68 days till my labor due date.

I had a SPLENDID day yesterday! I had more energy than I've ever had in the last 2 months. I went to a Spa to get a manicure & pedicure. I had the luxury of sitting in one of those massage chairs with warm bubbling water gushing on my feet. I felt so relaxed that I actually drifted off to sleep. Lina who did my pedicure was superb! She gave me the best foot massage I've ever had! Then Alex did a fab job with my pedicure she even removed my dry cuticles and gave me some refreshments and snacks to chew on. One thing about this pregnancy I'm finding is that people tend to service you much better.  It sure is nice to be pampered when you’re pregnant! I will come back again in 3 weeks since I very much enjoyed their excellent services.

Now, let's get back to the topic of my blog.

My relationship now with food is MANIC at its BEST. It's up and down and nothing in between. When you’re pregnant your relationship with food becomes completely dysfunctional. I now know at this stage of my pregnancy what my favorite thing to do - it's to eat. It's wonderful, it's fun, and it’s delicious! It involves all senses.

I love a good presentation. The sight of a Japanese bento box or miniature boat filled with sushi crafted like an art at a 4 star restaurant or the weave of a crust of an apple pie dribble with maple syrup topped off with a very creamy vanilla ice cream scoop. I love the texture on my tongue. The way the soup glides down my throat; the saltiness of crispy french fries as I dip it in a pool of Heinz ketchup. I love the smells of vanilla/strawberry milkshakes that float up in my nose. The way steaming Chinese entrees tickle my nose hairs. I love the sound of chewing, the sound of a fork slicing right down the side of a cake, the sounds of cardboard when I'm opening the pizza box, the cracking sounds of guacamole chips and raw almond nuts or the sounds of beef jerky being torn apart by my teeth. And the taste. Oh, the taste. I could never find the right words for the tastes. As Rachel Ray on the Food Network would say --- "Yummmo"!

Okay, so yes I do want to eat better. I like to think for now that I can get away stuffing my face with anything and everything I'm craving for. My Mom makes this meal that was so everyday for her, like not a big deal at all. She put together this salad with this simple dressing she made herself and it was delicious! She had steamed brown rice and this baked smoked mesquite chicken breast that tasted like absolute heaven. It was totally a healthy meal and it was sooo freaking good. I need to focus on eating healthy in these last remaining weeks of this pregnancy. That's really the GOAL which is seemingly impossible to achieve since my taste buds are attracted to unhealthy food right now. It is a battle I'm losing before I could even attempt to stir focus on my goal. So, I've decided to hang little post-it notes reminder that says "Eat healthy for baby" everywhere --  on my bedroom wall, my walk-in closet, my computer screen, my bathroom mirror, the kitchen fridge, my living room coffee table, the dining table, and my car. A bit drastic you think? I hope this experiment works. Eating delicious, good, healthy food in appropriate proportions is where I want to be. Then, perhaps I would feel less guilty enjoying some wonderfully not-so-healthy food every once in awhile.

Wow, I started off explaining my love for food and provided a solution to tackle my dysfunctional relationship with food. I feel better now. That's nice. I'm now going to give myself an invigorating warm bath and relax.

Before I forget, to all Canadian folks out there advance --  Happy Victoria Day! Enjoy the long weekend!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 - The Complexities of Friendships - (My Thoughts & Analogy)

My Mood:  Contemplative

Eargasms: "Let It Rain"  Artist: Amanda Marshall

Countdown: 73 days till my labor due date.

I'm feeling especially contemplative these early morning hours. I am finding it hard to fall back to sleep because my little one is kicking me, I might as well put my thoughts into writing. Being on FACEBOOK and seeing old and familiar faces once again has led me to some deep thoughts and analogy of the complexities of friendships.

Life is crazy these days, and it seems like it gets more difficult and more complicated to keep friendship flames a-glowin'. I don't know where it came from, but somehow, through all of my experiences over the past few years, I have built, burnt, shattered, and reconstructed more bridges than I had ever considered possible.

I think at one point in my more idealistic days, I considered myself the kind of person who would never burn a bridge, and who would never be a victim of bridge-burning. I firmly believed to my core that I would create and maintain the kinds of friendships that would survive the ages and that people I allowed in would stay IN, come rain or shine. None of that would matter because I would be building long-lasting, firmly planted relationships and friendships of SUBSTANCE.

Lo and behold, the years pass and I find myself to be more discriminating. I find life to be more fluid than firmly planted, and friendships to wax and wane more often than the moon. People come and go in my life, I come and go through others' lives, and we all emerge from the encounters a little older, a little wiser, and a little more confident that as we ride through our tumultuous twenties, things make no more sense and we discover that we've learned to deal better with the nonsensical.

I am surprised at the friendships and loves that I have lost, or chosen, or lost and rechosen. I don't understand fully the decisions that I've made to cut people off, or the feelings I have when it happens to me. I only know that the CYCLE continues, and over time I become disconcertingly more COMFORTABLE with it all. I suppose everything happens for a reason, but I will never cease to find surprise in every happening. There are people that I miss terribly, and the more I move, the more I discover that connections become fractured versions of their once-whole selves, leaving me a person whose edges are fissured, like the roots of my tree are still me but the tendrils at the ends of my leaves are browning. Of course, new shoots spring forth, but they rarely harden into something so substantial that I can rely on their strength for the future. What if a bird lands on me? Who will hold it up? The trunk can only do so much, and there is a constant barrage of squirrels borrowing in it, storing nuts for the winter. And what of the woodpeckers who attempt to bore into my core? Without solid boughs, there are no arms to my Wizard of Oz Tree friendships that will swat them away. Let me actually change these negative thoughts to positives. Even though I have not found the arms to my Wizard of Oz Tree, I instead discovered and found something much more abidingly UNCONDITIONAL. At the bottom of my tree there lie several "ANCHORS" that have been firmly planted with a "SAFETY NET" surrounding.  

This would be you Mike. I know you read my writings on a daily basis. Thank you baby for your UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and SUPPORT. And for helping me transform myself to the woman I wanted to become. I still remember the first time you said this to me while we were walking along Santa Monica Beach, CA. You said: "Baby girl you are FREE to be whom you want to be and if you fail and fall it is okay. I will be at the bottom waiting to catch you; think of me as your safety net." -- You have proven through our time together to be my anchor and safety net and for this your love will be returned twice fold.

Anyways, before I get too caught up in an emotional state or vulnerability, let me revert my attention back to the main purpose of this blog. I feel like the more I go into this sleep-deprivation inspired analogy, the more I wonder how the hell I feel about it all, and if I'll ever have a firm grasp on the complexities of friendships.

The few that know me well know my loyalties, and how they soar and occasionally falter and plummet. They know that I would do anything for those I hold dear, and yet they also know how few people fit that bill. I keep a SELECT few close and a billion in the outer tiers of friendships so I don't get hurt when others' loyalties falter with me. It is a safety net, if you will. And most people, as I understand, operate this way... Should we all be protective of our inner cores? I often wish I was still so idealistic that I believed the best in everyone; that everyone would be as loyal to me, as open to me, as I can be to them. But after a while, I guess we all lose that purity. It isn't a bad thing, and to hold onto it leaves one constantly disappointed in their surroundings, because most people cannot live up to such a standard.

Cynicism, as susceptible as I am to it, can be a disease, and it spreads so quickly and so easily that most people don't see it until they are completely consumed. I guess I am one of those people who refuse to blow out that flickering idealistic flame, though. I try not to let disappointments get to me, I can't help it sometimes.

Many have had the impression that I am "sensitive," but I beg to differ. I think I'm just OPEN. I am open to everything, and when I say everything, it includes the possibility to get hurt. I guess I don't really mind, either. I don't want to become numb to the world. I don't want to lose faith in people and to close myself off to potential goodness in people, even if it means being let down by them when they prove themselves to be otherwise. And I guess I don't want people to be this way with me either. And that's the tough part. It means I hurt people as much as they hurt me. It makes me feel dangerous. And capable of anything; capable of goodness and badness and everything in between. I guess this is what it feels like to be in this place, in your twenties, watching yourself GROW UP from the outside half the time, and being in the middle of it the rest of the time.

It feels very strange, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Monday, May 14, 2007 - Marcus James 3D Ultrasound Pictures

My Mood:  Happy!

Eargasms: "Over The Rainbow"  Artist: Katherine McPhee

Countdown: 74 days till my labor due date.

Wishing all the MOMS in the world HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

And now...for my most anticipated blog. I went for a 3D Ultrasound Scan yesterday at UC Baby with Mike and my Mom and it was one of the most remarkable and heart-stirring experience of my life. For the first time, I have witnessed the Miracle of Life. I saw my baby boy's face and body in 3D inside my belly and it was the most AMAZING thing ever!

Mommy LOVES  you so much little Marcus James!

For all my friends and family that are viewing this blog, I am going to share some of the 3D shots that were taken of little Marcus. I hope it brings you as much joy and happiness as it has brought me. Enjoy the pictures!

• First Row: Preparing for the BIG YAWN!
• Second Row: Sucking his thumb
• Third Row: Sleepy Head
• Fourth Row: My Chubby Legs

 

"Boys are found everywhere -- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket."

Alan Marshall Beck

Sunday, May 13, 2007 - Dinosaur Inspired Nursery Room PART 1

My Mood:  Exhausted 

Eargasms: "Buy Me A Rose"  Artist: Luther Vandross

Countdown: 75 days till my labor due date.

After scouting around town looking for nursery decorations, I felt that there were not enough suitable products on the market to make the walls of my little one's room more interesting, inspiring, and unique. I did not want to be another Winnie the Pooh victim. I wanted something out of the ordinary, something special; a place where you walk in with a big smile. Hanging one lonely decoration on the wall does not make much of a visual difference in a room, so I came to a realization that I am going to have the decorations custom made. As the brainstorming began, I came with the idea that maybe I'll have a scenic mural painted.

My final decision came to me after encountering a very clever and charming little boy on my trip to Kaboodles.  I observed him for a moment, noticing that he walks past through all the teddy bears and cutesie stuff and went straight to pick out what he thought in his words was "COOL" -- it was a giant plush toy T-Rex dinosaur. As I walked closer to approach him he noticed that I was holding a large teddy bear and he asked in a curious tone, "Whose it for?” I replied "It's for my little baby boy." He then immediately grab my hand and pointed out to show me what he thought I should buy and without surprise it was DINOSAURS & REPTILES. It was then I knew that I wanted a room that Marcus James can be able to appreciate later on when his older. This is when the Dinosaur Inspired Theme Room was born.

The creative brainchild and visionary behind these fabulous decorations is Eric Abel. He came up with the idea of combining several ornaments made of felt to create a fascinating prehistoric scene. In addition, he made the look funkier since the scene tells a story itself. It will only depend on Marcus James’ imagination what kind of story he can come up with when his older. The dinosaurs are soft, warm and goofy looking, very cute, and most importantly they seem to have taken a personality of their own. I shall name them THE THREE AMIGOS!!!

I am now very proud and thrilled to announce that my little one's room is in the works! It is half done and I will have another post with pictures when it is completely finished. Enjoy the pictures!

Please check out Eric's Company Website: Click on the image below.

Thursday, May 10, 2007 - A WONDERFUL Surprise!

My Mood:  Chipper!
Eargasm: "Meant to Fly" Artist: Eva Avila

I opened my work email today and saw this EXCITING email from Linda in the office. Included with the email she sent me is my lovely baby shower invitation probably created by little hotty Margaret.

Thursday, May 10, 2007 - Pregnancy comes as a Blessing with a Vengeance!

My Mood:

Eargasm: "Because of You"  Artist: Neyo

It is now 3:39 am PST (Pacific Standard Time) and I had just gotten up from my warm cozy bed which I am now dreading. My baby is kicking me so hard that I’ve decided to go get a glass of chocolate milk. I usually can be able to tolerate the kicking; however it has gotten stronger in the last 3 days. Baby has picked his favorite spot to kick his Mom which in this case is my rib cage. I can see miniature foot marks bulging on my belly when he kicks hard.  I’ve shed tears when I first saw this for it is truly an AMAZING experience making all the pain worthwhile.

One more week left before I complete the full Seventh Month term (Approximately 28-31 weeks). It has been extremely challenging for me physically in the last 2 months. I have bloodshot droopy eyes, aching lower abdomen, numbing back pains, shortness of breath, and heartburns. As I understand this is all suppose to be normal? Good grief! I cannot imagine Mom’s out there having twins or triplets in their bellies. One is a handful well speaking about the little one in my belly anyway.*Sigh*

I am for the first time feeling the heavy weight of this pregnancy. My BRIGHT SPOT that keeps me happy, anchored, and sane is my loving hubby Mike, my Mom, and my baby boy to be (Marcus James). I know I will get through this and nothing is more important now than my new family.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007 - A New Outlet for Written Vindications?

 

A BIG HELLO to all my fellow BLOGGERS out there!

I was on a verge to search the perfect blogging community to join and VOILA - I found this! ClearBlogs  I must say it has been a smooth process so far being a new member.  I like that it’s clean, simple, with a user friendly interface and most importantly it’s FREE! There are still some of us out there that still take comfort in simplicity, which now a days is a far cry since technology has become much more convoluted and complicated. I do hope to utilize this nifty tool to the best of my knowledge. Looking forward!

For those that are seeing this publish in my FACEBOOK profile note mini-feed please check out my new blog spot. www.clearblogs.com/JenniB/