it is extremely hard to say, but i think that this blog has run its course.

I'll be deleting one of my side ones and creating a blog that only uses one font size and is continuous, only skipping lines for new paragraphs and subjects.  It'll still have the same creative spark, but it'll be more sophisticated. You can expect the entries to look a little bit like this.  I'm no longer writing about what I think, but what I feel.  I'm one of those people who just feel more about the world and the people around them than most. I'll still keep this blog, for it has way to much material to just delete it. 

  The idea of this new layout for my blogs is that I could write longer entries but I could take up less room.  I'll only keep 2 or 3 entries on each page, so in case you miss any, you can just scroll down and look. I really appreciate the people who took the time to read and comment this blog (Lauren) and I really hope that you'll take interest in my next one.

  This blog means more to me than most people's blogs would, so I'm keeping it.  It contains memories that won't ever be replaced.

  I believe the reason for needing a new thing for my blog is that the Alex Chase phase is over.  His leaving for the second time really made me prepared for change and right now I really need it.  I've realized that I've lived my whole life being the same person, never changing with the world and my surroundings.  I want to be the same Alexandria Nicole, but I think I've matured more than most would with one person's leaving. 

  As you can see, he meant much to me, but I can't go back to the way things used to be.  Emphasizing (sp?) words is really fun, because it shows what you're thinking, and how big the thoughts are.  But I need some place to put my feelings, some way to show my feelings to the people that care most.

  You could call it getting rid of the old, but I'd like to call it welcoming the new.  The new blog will probably be called footprints.

  That means the link would most likely be clearblogs.com/footprintsofalex

  So, the alexandrianicole stage is over.  Thank God for change.

i gots a lot to say.

this one might be looooooooooooooooooooooong.

maybe longer.

so, alex chase and I were doing okay.

but through some weird happening, we broke up.

and even though i'll miss him more than i think, I'm okay with it.

i need a guy who fits me.

who knows that i need attention, attention, love, and MORE ATTENTION.

he only gave me two of those things.

good thing hidden behind a curtain?

i think so.

dance tonight.

so excited!!!!

not because i'm single.

because i just want to go with the flow of singledom.

hopefully I won't be my stupid self and make any commitments.

yeah.

I got all a's on my report card.

my social studies grade skimmed an A-

i hate + and - signs right now.

integers in math.

ugh.

well. . .maybe there wasn't so much to say.

bye!

alexandria nicole.

p.s. i think i'm stronger now.

alex chase.

rarrrrr!

check this:

he thinks i don't like him.

that i'm dating him for pity.

I'LL KILL HIM YOU KNOW!!

not really :]]

but he's like I know you don't like me. . .you're just dating me so you won't hurt my feelings and i'm like dude i'm freakin addicted to you can't you see????????????

and he's like blah blah blah i'm a guy.

what a loser.

my loser.

i miss tyler may.

HE didn't cause this much drama.

well at least alex is texting me again.

oohhhh yeah i so landed my tuck multiple times without Ben (the unicorn) standing close to me tonight!!!!!!!

so excited :]]

well, bye.

alexandria nicole.

alecks.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.

thought i would never get through fall break.

still got sunday, though :]]

I called alex chase this morning. It was our first civilized conversation ever since he got text messaging.

WENT TO DOLLYWOOD WITH LAUREN AND KRISTEN YESTERDAY!!!!!!

enough with the big font :]]

but it was funn, kristen rode her first roller coaster.

we rode::

DIZZY DISK

STAR DROPPY THING.

VEGGIE TALES COASTER. (intense man, intense)

SCRAMBLER.

THE OLD SWINGS.

TENNESSEE TORNADO (three times, babyy)

BLAZING FURY (weenie coaster)

THUNDERHEAD.

(ALL THE BEGINNING ONES UP TO THE SWINGS AGAIN)

MYSTERY MINE.

THEN THUNDERHEAD (second to last ride!!!)

heyy lauren:

guess bulimic!

(that's how you spell it i checked)

lol.

ohhmuchlove,

alexandria nicole. (alecks)

all is okay in the world.

so. . .what's up???

you all having fun in your little corners reading someone's private blog that only Lauren really cares about :]]

hey lauren do you still like you know who???

ooohhhhh i like this font italisized.

anyways. . .

i can relax and be my old stupid self, now.

alex chase and i are finee.

hehe.

ily all,

alexandria nicole!!!!!

well, well, well.

ALEX CHASE BETTER HAVE SOME DARN GOOD EXCUSE FOR THISS.

he hasn't answered my texts since yesterday, (early evening).  I'm gonna call him later. better wait for him to wake up, the loser.

alex if you're reading this than <3. . .

read no further.

i could almost swear i was supposed to remember something. . .about alex.

I JUST DON'T REMEMBER FREAKIN WHAT!

and my little loser won't tell me :]]

i am almost freakin sure.

eh.

things get worse before they get better, right?

i just hope they don't get too much worse.

that just wouldn't be good, nopers.

well bye people who are reading this blog. . .

alexandria nicole.

texted alex until 11:30 last night.

we is like da best couple ever :]]

I KNOW WHO LAUREN LIKES!

sorry can't tell.

man, this is boring.

buh bye.

hey, babe.

i was at kristen's house.

funfunfun.

Well, KIND OF.

we had to go to some stupid silver award meeting, i was texting the whole time.

under the table, of course.

then we went to kristen's soccer game.

i made more of my little bracelet thingies that i haven't made in forever.

3, to be exact.

<3

Alex Chase said he forgot to give me a kiss :]]

he shouldn't worry, he'll get it ;]]

haha. what a loser.

well i'll talk to you all later,

hugantic love,

(hugantic is a mix between huge and gigantic)

alexandria nicole.

it's 6:45 in the morning.

i got up reallllllly early today.

happenings of yesterday:

alex chase was following danielle around like a dog on a leash yesterday.

it made me SO FREAKIN MAD.

but i found the way to solve it all.

apologize and agree are my two a's.

first, apologize for something that you didn't even know you did.

then agree not to flirt with kevin elliott anymore even though you're puking on the inside.

and viola! instant relationship.

but ya know, it's all good.

yesterday we were lightninged (lightnings, lightninginged???) out of the game.

i was secretly yelling yay!

in my secret little way.

lol.

I'm going to oakes farm today for the zero zero party!

alex chase or kristen aren't coming.

but danielle is so hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha.

i wish she would just move.

maybe i should try and make friends with her???

that would make her a little better???

idk.

give ya the solution later.

love ya'll,

alexandria nicole.

hey peoples.

kisses today.

i think you know what that means :]]

more like :-*

hehe lol.

i bombed a test though.

my nine weeks test.

uh oh paskettios.

eh.

i think i'll still have an A. It's only a *choke*. . .

C!

well i guess i'll talk to you later?

loves ya all,

alexandria nicole.

dear world,

THIS LIFE IS. . .

extravagant.

everything seems to be going up for me.

i think alex still hates kristen, but he doesn't display it publicly. maybe because she's my best friend? or because he's smart.

idk. and i don't care.

check this:

did i tell you that we held hands all last period yesterday?

same with today.

well, today he told me that he loved me.

I couldn't muster up the . . .well idk to tell him the same.

i just blushed. . .

okay stop.

you all know me! I DON'T BLUSH.

but my cheeks got all hot and i just laid my head on his chest.

too nervous to be embarassed.

or maybe too occupied?

i tried to make myself tell him that i loved him.

maybe tomorrow?

eh, i guess it just comes when it comes.

talk to you later, world.

alexandria nicole.

extra craziness!

well i still think that alex chase and kristen hate each other!!!

did i tell you about that?

LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK.

kristen sent alex a message and he lashed out and i suppose they exchanged a few cuss words. now they hate each other blah blah blah.

I DON'T THINK THEY REALIZE THE SITUATION THAT THEY PUT ME IN.

BESTFRIEND OVER BOYFRIEND.

how does one decide?

idk.

WELL I WAS SAD TODAY.

EVERYONE CROWDED ME.

now you all know that i don't like being crowded!

well, now you do.

take that.

rarr to much to explain STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!

How is it,

that when you look at one certain person you feel something for them that you could never feel for anyone else?

How is it,

that you can completely despise someone and love another who is just like them?

I DON'T GET ANY OF IT.

But thank God that we can.

alexandria nicole.

hey, babe.

i still can't figure out why he chose me.

well it's 11:30 on a friday night, so I suppose i won't find out today.

i like this strikethrough thing.

anyways,

i think that i could live with him liking me and me only.

it seems like every girl's lifelong dream.

well, maybe not lifelong,

But long enough.

PLEASE DEAR LORD,

LET THE DANCE COME SOON!

there is no way that I'm dancing with him while he has the worst look ever on his face.

I REFUSE TO.

i'll probably want to, but i won't.

why am I being so darn negative?

OF COURSE we'll stay together until the dance.

i just knocked on wood.

eh.

i'll talk to you all later.

Buh bye, love.

Alexandria Nicole.

have you ever felt like you weren't good enough for someone?

that's how I feel right now.

I started looking at danielle today in class.

Wondering why he chose me.

THERE ARE SOME BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN MY GRADE.

I know it.

Some are nicer, many have more charisma.

I'm not even popular and I don't talk to the popular kids much.

SO WHY ISN'T HE WITH THEM?

IDK.

maybe I should just enjoy it while i can?

One of my favorite memories:

One time, after school, I felt especially happy.  So happy, that I didn't wait for Alex to hug me.

I hugged him.

"I'm never letting go," I told him. "I'll hang on to you forever."

He looked down and smiled at me and asked "Never?"

"Never."

And look at me now.  Last year he let go of me, but I held on, and eventually persuaded him to come back.

Look at me :]]

omg.
this life is such a drama!

i spent like 3 hours on that stupid survey math project. It looks okay. Enough to get an A. :]]

Talking to alex chase. I'm amazed at how clueless i was when he liked me. I think he likes me this year more than last year.

I LOVE THIS LIFE NONETHELESS.

i just hope that God doesn't throw any obstacles at me for a while.

just let me live like this forever, if possible.

:]]

Talk to you later.

MUCH LOVE,

alexandria nicole.

alex chase asked me out today.

kristen says he was supposed to send me a message yesterday, and then announced to the world that i didn't get the message. what a good best friend, huh?

well i could tell alex was nervous about it because he asked me in person.

but, after all this time that i've been waiting for this to happen, i don't know what to do.

will it last long? will he be like he was, even though he's sorry for what he did? will he do the same things? will he make me cry again?

I DON'T WANT TO CRY AGAIN.

not about him, anyways.

well i hope we last (and we will if it's the last thing i do) until the next dance. it's like in fall or something. he better not do what he did last time and ditch me the day before the dance.

well, last year it turned out okay, i started liking will and that progressed. but this year, there is no will.  there is no one that i can turn to of whom will take me in at any time.

help?

always,

alexandria nicole.

seemed too good to be true.

breathtakingly perfect.

guess who switched flyers!

mee!

i have sydnie now instead of hannah.

it's soo awesome Sydnie is so much lighter. no offense hannah.

but kelsey and i are weakling flyers. we can't base someone heavy.

KRISTEN TELLS ME THAT ALEX CHASE ASKED ME OUT.

but he didn't send me a message, i'm not getting my hopes up.

what happened to good, old fashioned going up and asking the girl?

i guess that only exists in movies.

well, i'll take what i can get.

keep ya posted :]]

alexandria nicole.

THIS BOY.

I swear he's trying to kill me. Well last week I didn't see him at all. . .it was pure torture.  You all know that I can barely survive a day without him.

Now he likes someone, and he won't tell me who.  I sent him a message on myspace and we're going back and forth on who he likes. . .I was guessing. I'm about to read the message in which I think he told me. . .

and my computer takes forever:

he says that he doesn't know how to say it.  That's what I told him.  It's so hard to tell someone that you like them, you know?

I hope he doesn't sign off before I find out.

If he does I'll squish him.

Waiting for an online now symbol: none.

But that doesn't mean that he didn't sign off, right?  The computer might just be messing up.

 gosh i'm desperate.

does he have to be like this?

I'll get back to you in a few moments;