the drugging of a life time

Hello I'm Chandler, I'm your average nice kid. I am very tender hearted and all I ever did was try to help this girl. Her name is Tuesday. I stayed up an entire night talking her through suicide. I love her, even though she makes me feel so bad, I love her and I always will. No one will understand how much she means to me. You know when you see the runt of a litter, or the puppie or baby with a disapility and all you want to do is hug and make it feel better? That's what it's like wiht me and tuesday. Everyone says I should quit but if I do she'll over dose. She started taking some really bad drugs. Because me and her got in a fight. And it was a stupid fight that could have been prevented by either one of us. I could have reacted better and she could have not done it at all. You do dumb things when you're drunk. When you're at a party. I understand that now, but at the time it pissed me off, it reminded me that I can't do anything because of my anxities and fears. I have never really left my own yard. (Please don't tell me how to fix that, I honestly don't want to.) The problem is is that she's addicted to things and it's so she can forget about me. She's just liek me, she loves me but she hates that. We live so far away from each other and it's killing us. She has an actual boyfriend. And it turns out she was actually happy with him until she met me, so I fucked that up too. I guess I'm just bad luck. I'm going up to Utah tomarrow. I'm going to go see Patrick. Possibly Andi. Me and Patrick are going to talk about solutions and life because he's the best friend a kid could ask for. he really is. Even when he's upset, I can still see the wonderboy he is. I'll see you soon Patrick.