Hahahaha

07:31 - Thursday, December 6, 2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Brain

Hahaha!!

They need to make one for horny  women like that, but of course it doesnt apply to me

*cough cough*

11:01 - Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - comments {0} - post comment

How to shower

:)   I shared this before a long time ago on my old blog... but its too funny and my husband totally reminded me of this a few days ago so I had to dig it out! hahaa

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note...Must do more sit-ups.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.

Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.

Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel he size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.

Tweeze hairs.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.

Leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her, making the "woo-woo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No)

Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.

Get in shower.

Don't bother to look for a washcloth...You don't use one.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.

Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

Pee (in the shower).

Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. Partially dry off.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire the wiener size again.

Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake iener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

05:46 - Sunday, April 8, 2007 - comments {2} - post comment

Easter activity for your kids

Here is what Jay and the kids did together at church :)

It's a Prayer Garden.  It was part of our Easter Walk, representing the Garden of Gethsemane:

Mark 26:36:  Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray. 39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

So the kids took popsicle sticks that they painted Green (these were already painted tho)  and wrote on them things, or people, they want to pray for.   Than, you simply glue some artificial flowers on the top, and put everything in a flower pot, or vase! It looks so cute, and every day, all you have to do is to pull a flower out to see what you will pray for :) 

I just thought i'd share :)

12:26 - Sunday, April 8, 2007 - comments {0} - post comment