Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work and effort. Forget that! I’m going to take a different approach. I’m going to show you how to lose all your hard earned money and fake your own death (I mean destiny), and be successful at it.

Step 1: Be a Sissy-

Being a sissy has nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with mental strength. I know you want to be successful but you’re too afraid to make a commitment to your dream. You’re scared to take chances. You’re scared to make choices. You want everything to be perfect before you can “take a risk”. Yeah, right! That day will come when Hell and my mother’s famous spicy hot Sancocho soup freezes (author’s note: my money is on Hell freezing over first). Nonetheless, don’t do anything until one of the following has occurred: All the stars in the constellation have aligned themselves perfectly, you’ve spotted a once extinct Dodo bird, or someone absolutely guarantees you that you will not fail. Until one of these things are in place, don’t do anything…be a sissy.

Step 2: Listen to Stupid People-

Oh, this is one of my favorite. There are two types of people out there: successful and happy. By successful, I mean someone who has a career and is financially secure. By happy I mean someone who has found their “happy place” and enjoys where they’re at in life. The latter has less do with money, and more do to with life style. Knowing this, here’s the key: never, I mean NEVER listen to successful or happy people. They’ll just make you nauseous with their ideas and strategies for getting what you want out of life. Instead, listen to friends and family members who are either broke or unhappy. That way if you fail, and chances are that you will, you’ll at a minimum have them for company. And we know that misery loves company. Also if you fail using their advice, you can always blame it on them (See Rule 9 for more details).

Step 3: Wait for Divine Intervention-

Yes, another strategy on how to lose your money and fake destiny is to simply wait for the ‘invisible hand’ of fate to pass over you and bless you with immense abundance. Yes, go ahead pray and ask God (whoever and whatever that is to you) to rain down upon you all that you deserve. Sit back, do nothing and wait for something to great to happen. Yes, your needs far outweigh those of people in other countries who are dying from HIV, hunger, violence, etc. Don’t feel guilty. Make your demand on God and if you’re so inclined, you might want to give Him a deadline because you’re in a hurry. But remember, don’t lift a finger to help yourself, you might offend Him by being so impatient.

Step 4: Develop a Need to Mimic-

Desmond Morris wrote a fantastic book called “The Human Ape”. If you haven’t read it, you are depriving yourself of a primitive experience and pleasure. Morris talks about the need for humans to mimic in order to feel accepted or more worthy. So, what I want you to do in order for you to lose your money and fake your destiny is look around you and buy whatever your friends or colleagues are buying. But the extravagant cars, the luxurious museum (I mean house), take all the trips you want to exotic places. What about money? Who cares! The point here is that you want to mimic or copy what every one else is doing. Money and debt are nuisances you shouldn’t have to worry about. What about credit card companies? So what you owe them money, they’re crooks who already have too much money; they don’t need yours.

Step 5: Take advantage of People-

Here’s a great tip. Forget about being considerate and to hell with the “golden rule”. If you can use somebody, do it. I you can take advantage of a situation, do it. Consequences?! Bah! Why bother with such silly notions; they’re so inconvenient. For all you care, you’ll probably never have to deal with them again. And if it’s in a work environment, all the better, screw them any way you can. They probably deserve it for being so dang naïve. The basic premise is this, the next time you in a position to really abuse another fellow human being, don’t think twice, just do it!

Step 6: Invent Your Own Reality-

Ooh, I like this one. To hell with reality, create your own. When someone says, “You’re not being realistic”, ignore them they’re an idiot. When someone tries to warn you that your overspending and your debts are mounting, just go out and shop some more…you’ll feel better. Remember also that money is the root of all evil and no one should have to really save or keep any around for a rainy day. And, even when everyone is telling you you’re wrong, ignore them because they ALL can’t be right! And more than likely, they simply don’t have the same bright, pink outlook on life you have. Dismiss those fools.

Step 7: Never Keep a Commitment Again-

The next time you make a promise, just remember that it really isn’t a commitment. A promise is an agreement to do something but you reserve the right to change your mind without notifying the other party (aka The When it’s Convenient Rule). And yes, it’s OK to over-promise and under-deliver. The Convenient Rule still applies. When you tell someone you’d show up to a meeting or an engagement, remember that it’s OK to change your mind, again, without the need to notify the other party. Commitments are so restrictive that you should allow yourself the flexibility to abide by or ignore them whenever you feel like it. What if others complain? They’re just being insensitive to your ‘spontaneity’ and free spirit….envious bastards.

Step 8: Blame it on the ISM-

The next time things don’t go your way or you missed out on some promotion or raise, blame it on an “ISM”. There are plenty to choose from. RacISM, SexISM, AgeISM, etc. Remember it’s never your responsibility to be create wealth and opportunity. Someone should always look our for your because you’ve been handicapped (i.e., with an ISM) by the unfairness of society. Someone should also make amends and remunerations for your inconvenience should be made to you. Don’t forge to always complain about how “the man” won’t let you succeed. And always blame your failing on some corporate guy with a nice suite and tie. They’re always guilty of something. They’re all liars and cheats waiting to be exposed.

Bonus rule:

Step 9: It’s Never Your Problem-

No matter how bad you perform or don’t perform at all, it isn’t your fault (Corollary to Rule 8). It’s never your problem. It’s always someone else’s deal. And if you can’t find a warm body to blame it on, use someone who’s dead. Dead people are useful for blaming things on because they can’t dismiss the accusation and you feel better since it isn’t your fault. If you can’t find any dead people to blame it on, use the ultimate trump card, the Universe (or Cosmos). Either one is good enough when it come to blame. Just blame your misfortune on some ‘weird existential vibe’ thing that can’t be defined. And if someone doesn’t believe you they’re just being insensitive and ignorant of an existence on a ‘much higher level’ where you can’t be held responsible.

Follow these nine rules and I guarantee you that you will lose your money and fake your destiny with GREAT SUCCESS.

Free Self Improvement Tips

We own a home on the island of Puerto Rico nestled high in the mountains against the backdrop of the United States’ only national rainforest, The Yunque. To say that the trees, faunas and wildlife are incredible is an understatement.

Where we live there are only a few handful of houses spaced apart enough to enjoy one’s own privacy. One of my neighbors is a wonderful retiree name Emilio. When you look at Emilio he reminds you of that favorite grandfather who would probably play pranks on you. Emilio’s humor and energy, if you’re around him long enough, is contagious.

About six months ago as I was pulling up to our house, I saw huge piles of cement powder, boards and tools scattered about Emilio’s front yard. I went over to see what he was up to. Emilio had decided to build his own cement patio. “Incredible”, I thought. I asked him if he was going to do it himself and he said, “Yeah, why?” When I returned to Puerto Rico a month or so later he had finished the patio which extended wonderfully off a small dip in the valley giving him an even more spectacular view of the rainforest.

The next time I went to the island, I remember while sitting on my porch enjoying a cup of coffee and the view of the valley, I heard someone yelling my name, “Victor, Victor”. When I came done the road by Emilio’s house I saw him sitting on the roof of his house with his feet dangling over the edge and laughing. Apparently, while repairing some shingles on his roof, the wind came by and blew the ladder away and he had no way of getting down. After a few moments of laughter, on my part, I put the ladder back in place so Emilio could get down.

Last week we went up to the house in Puerto Rico again to find Emilio finishing up the installation of a hot water heater powered by a couple of solar panels he had installed. Apparently technology didn’t scare this old guy either.

That night we sat down and chatted while sipping on a few cold ones. Emilio’s story of how he was raised and the adversities he’s had to overcome made him even more amazing. One of the most recent challenges was the loss of his wife to cancer 10 years ago after 42 years of marriage. She died before their dream house there in Puerto Rico was finished. Emilio can’t go for more than 10 minutes in a conversation without bringing up her name. To hear him speak of his wife, you think she’s in the next room. A beautiful black and white photo of their wedding sits alone atop a desk and is the first thing you notice when you step inside his home.

Emilio still takes care of his house and continues to improve on it. I suspect that in his mind he’s not building it alone. No. Whatever new task Emilio takes on, his wife is right there beside him in spirit. His vision for their dream house continues to motivate him on to the next project.

Unlike Emilio, many of us have lost our motivation. We’ve lost that drive to bring about the life we once thought of having. We’ve surrendered it to the past and have become apathetic in reclaiming it. Our will to pursue our passion, our dream, our vision has atrophied.

Many of us complain that it’s too late to start a career or learn a new skill. We think we’re too old to learn anything new. Think of Emilio. He learned how to build the patio as he went…at 78!

Many of us stop dreaming because of some tragedy or misfortunate event. Think of Emilio. He taught me to work through the pain, push on and give your life new purpose, new meaning.

And, many of us are afraid to fail or look stupid in the process of building our dream. Failure scares us. Think of Emilio sitting on the roof when the ladder was blown out from under him. I didn’t find him on the roof depressed or belittling himself. Instead I found a big kid laughing at himself and the situation. From Emilio I learned that fallen ladders (i.e., things don’t go the way we planned them) don’t matter and it’s OK to ask (or in Emilio’s case yell) for help.

Emilio shows no sign of letting up. He’s a human Energizer bunny still going strong, still building on his dream, still holding steady to a shared vision.

Are you still holding steady to your vision of happiness?!

Are you still building?!

Remember to laugh when the winds of misfortune blows your ladder out from under you. And, don’t be afraid to ask (or yell) for help. You may be surprised at who shows up to help support your vision

Free Self Improvement

If you are not experiencing perfect, harmonious, pressure-free life experiences right now, it is because there are some unresolved problems in your world that are preventing it from happening. Simple logic compels the conclusion that if you could somehow resolve these problems, harmony would be restored.

It would seem that everybody has nagging problems that they'd give anything to be rid of. But too few know how to do it and in their frantic search for the elusive "something" that might resolve them they find that their efforts are less than effective and too often produce more frustrations than solutions.

Not only are these struggles non-productive, they are completely unnecessary.

Self-help, motivational gurus seldom offer any lasting solutions because their messages are predicated on academic theory, emotional "fluff" or philosophical abstractions. These lack substance and are devoid of any demonstrable operating principle. I know. I've been there.

Years ago, I was sure that I had more than my fair share of problems and felt that I was trapped between the sword and the wall with no means of escape. But, gratefully, I found that there IS a way out!

I recalled that one of the things that impressed me most from my old college physics books was that this universe operates in absolute harmony with irrevocable natural laws and principles that have not varied throughout all time. Here was a refreshingly impersonal operating premise that was truly scientific. "Scientific" is defined by Webster as, "the knowledge or discovery of the operation of laws, principles and facts subject to proof and not subject to speculation, conjecture or any assumptions without proof".

What are these natural laws and principles? Webster's dictionary seemed to be a good place to find out because the definitions found there are completely objective and uncontaminated by any faulty reasoning or interpretations. I could accept this source as being an absolute authority.

I found that Webster defines natural laws and principles as, "principles that are proved to be invariable through observed regularities of nature; the creative and controlling forces of the universe".

Here was a definition that was truly scientific, irrevocable, invariable and fixed throughout all time. I reasoned that because I am an integral part of this perfect universe, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to experience the same predictable harmony, balance and perfection and be free of all conflicts, problems and their resultant pressures, anxieties and fears.

I could interpolate this to mean, then, that success, prosperity, freedom and a pressure-free way of life are as natural to us as wet is to water? To think otherwise would be to deny the "creative and controlling forces of the universe" and believe that these laws and principles could somehow be set aside or be flawed. Simple logic compels us to conclude that if problems were supported by any irrevocable law or principle, problems would be equally absolute and could never be resolved. We know from personal experience that this is not the case.

Reasoning from the logic of these facts, I made an exciting discovery. I discovered that there is only one primary cause of all problems. When this root cause is understood and properly applied, all problems, regardless of their nature or apparent severity, will disappear like snowflakes on a hot griddle.

Here was the key element missing from all traditionally accepted self-help, personal development and problem solving techniques that are not built on a scientific foundation.. This discovery fills this void and renders all other methodologies more effectively productive.

For more than 40 years I have field tested, fine tuned and proven the viability of this discovery to the benefit of a widely diverse personal, professional and corporate client base that has included many of the giants of American business.

Being rooted in the very basic structure of the universe, this discovery operates with absolute accuracy and predictability. Its irrevocable, unchallenged dominance supports and sustains its own nature to the exclusion of any implied opposite. When these "creative and controlling forces of the universe" are allowed to impact our affairs, the resolution of any problem is assured.

Self Improvement Tips