La Mulatta Tragique

Nothing Left Inside this Old Cathedral

02:15, Wednesday, January 31, 2007 .. 0 comments .. Link

It's been so long since I've been in a grounded relationship. Nothing has been stable since Paul. He had no ambition and no intention of going any farther than his current state, which was literally upstate New York. But I did. And I left behind my last good relationship.

It's ironic that I left him because he was so unchanging and now I can't seem to grasp onto a guy who stays benevolent long enough not to ruin me.

I've only had two serious reationlships since then. Raul broke my spirit. He was a tortured soul, a Spanish guitar player who could weave cruelties in his foreign tongue, spurting a million versions of the same cruel statement, each hurting in it's own right.

Chris broke my heart. He was a sailor and a sad bandage for the friends who I suddenly found myself without once I graduated. I lived off of his pizza crumbs and the possibility of his presence in a relationship which eventually deflated when he realized he wasn't ready to be the other half of anything.

A man's love of a woman is much more precious than the woman's reciprocation. Men do not love easily, they are picky by nature yet somehow low maintenance. They want their mate to fufil all of their sexual needs yet still keep virginity on a pedestal, unwittingly making themselves fools for women who don't put out on the first date. Men are not so fickle as women, going from crush to infatuation. It is either a flat line of disinterest or their mate for life. A woman, on the other hand, is much more likely to have half a dozen true loves in her lifetime.

Vast generalizations, I know. But I believe these tendencies of behavior hold true for the majority of the population. And with good reason; they serve a biological purpose. It serves less purpose for a man to fall in love and stick to his first choice; how would he ever take advantage of his fertile factory of sperm? But it pays for him to stick around with at least one woman he's impregnated as he can generate spawn and continue to provide for them in a family structure. For women, they love more easily because it serves to their advantage. They need to commit to who has the best ability to provide for them at any given time. Women love passionately but I don't think the love they have for a man can compare to that which they have for their children: the true love of their life.

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La Mulatta Tragique

Nothing Left Inside this Old Cathedral

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