an Outcast, an underage loser whose best friend is a brother's girlfriend, whose "Friends" soul purpose is to put trust to the test, and make life all around misurabl,s o misurable that death is an option's life story

i made this poem up.. it's really short but w/e

{ 04:36 PM, Friday, June 15, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

I whispered, "I love you"
As i walked away i heard you say " I love you more"
... only when i turn away.

hawt emo boyz

{ 10:09 PM, Sunday, June 10, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

ENJOY

THE EYES

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

omg look @ that umbrella, and that smile. omg i love you Image and video hosting by TinyPic

omg

marry me?

the eyes i tell you the EYES!!

i hope this works

{ 06:13 PM, Saturday, June 9, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Just answers the questions and repost and you will know the name of your true love!!!!!!!!!! WOW!
1)Pick your favorite color out of the following:

A.Red

B.Orange

C.Blue

D.Pink

E.Black

F.Green

2)Which of the floowing animals is your favorite?

A.Dove

B.Boar

C.Moose

D.Fish

E.Whale

F.Deer

3.Whats the first word that comes to your head when you think of your crush?

4.How old are you?

5.What letter of the alphabet is the same number as your age (like 1 = A) If you're older then 24 then add the two numbers together.

6. Name A Person Of The Opposite Sex... 7. Name A Person Of The Same Sex... 8. The Time Now... 9. Month you were born in... 10. You don't have to write it down, but make a WISH ...and then scroll down! (now go down, and you will see the answers!!! ******** ********* *********** ************ ************* ************* ****************************** ****************************** ***************************** **************************** *************************** ************************* ************************ ********************* ***************** ************** *********** ******* **** ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ HERE ARE THE ANSWERS!

Question number ONE:

A.red-strength

B.orange-creativity

C.blue-intelligence

D.pink-feminine

E.black-mystery

F.green-harmony Question number TWO:

A.dove-peace

B.boar-courage

C.fish-knowledge

D.moose-unpredictability

E.whale-creativity

F.deer-gracefulness

Question number THREE:

That will be the first word he/she says to you next time you talk to them.

Question number FOUR:

How many months that you and the person in number 6 will go out! if you repost this

Question number FIVE:

Thats your true loves first initial

Question number SIX: That person will have a crush on you after you repost this! Question number SEVEN: That person will become your enemy if you don't repost this! Question number EIGHT: How long you have to repost this! (Ex: 8:31 = 8 hours and 31 minutes)

Question number NINE: The number of that month is how many years you have unitl you meet him/her. (Ex. You were born in January so you'll meet him in 1 year)

Question number TEN: That will come true if you repost this in the amount of time (question) number 8 says! Congratulations!!!! repost it as "Find Your True Love"

pictures of me.. and my bf.. who used to be my crush ( still is) but now we're closer!

{ 12:18 AM, Friday, June 8, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

The one in the green. the other two are like my other buddies.

Again, ^my bf ^another buddy ^as seen earlier

I LOOOVE THIS PICTURE!!!!!

now for me. Funny, me& him dont have any together. oh right.. cuz im always taking his, and he mine.

At the beach... duh

ugh, he woke me up just to take pictures. He stormed into my room, yelled in my ear and told me to pose like so... ugh looking @ that picture makes me tired

I guess this was before he decided to wake me up..

rockin out on founders day! thats another one of my buddies.

DAMNIT why me?

{ 10:04 PM, Tuesday, March 13, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

1.) MY crush asked a hair ball out

2.) Me and 2 of my goodish friends had a big fight ( i tried to be calm and mature and just work it out, and say that i was sorry... but they wouldnt haver it.. what did i do?)

3) i am bored all the time

4.) i have but one really good friend that i can completely trust.

5.) I just plain suck and i bet i have no real purpose in life cept to get beat up emotionally

Some times i wish that i were dead

{ 09:56 PM, Sunday, March 11, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

How would you feel if you caused somebody to die?

If it was all your fault?

If only you had gone on one date with the damn person?!

im an idiot

booorreedd

{ 09:30 PM, Friday, February 23, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

EMO
[x] you own at least 5 black shirts
[x] you like skinny jeans
[x] you're listening to music right now
[x] you have painted your fingernails black before
[x] You have more than 300 songs on your ipod/mp3
[x] Have attempted suicide
[x] Like the color black
[x] hate girly girls
[x] Like to be alone
[] hate popular music
[x] keep hair in front of your face
[x] give people evil stares
[] Hate your parents
[x] Life sucks for you
[x] have been called emo
[x] Dislike the colors pink, green, teal and baby blue
[] own thick-rimmed glasses
[x] Complain a lot

Total: 15

PART TWO

SLUT/MAN WHORE
[] own more than 10 minishorts
[] own more than 10 miniskirts
[x] have been called a slut
[] drink a lot
[x] You wear dark eye makeup
[] wear low cut shirts
[] have been called a tease
[x] Flirt with everyone
[x] love the opposite sex
[x] Go to parties/sleepovers atleast once a week
[] own 5 tube tops
[] Like wearing swimsuits so people can see your body
[x] Sit on the opposite sex's lap
[x] People hate you
[] Its nice to be naughty
[] you cuss because you think its fun

Total: 7

PART THREE

JOCK
[] own at least 5 jerseys
[x] Have 10 trophies
[x] Love sports
[] Own 5 sweatpants
[] Dont wear makeup
[] Have / had played lacrosse
[x] Play more than 2 sports
[x] play sports
[x] Can play a sport if you've never played it before
[] On first string
[] You play Basketball
[x] You play baseball-softball
[x] You play soccer
[] You run track
[] You play football
[x] Been called a jock
[] Have set a record
[x] are friends with your coach
[] Love watching sports
[] can do 15 pushups without getting tired

Total: 9

PART 4

NERD
[] wear your pants on your waist
[] wear glasses-contacts
[] have braces
[x] In advanced classes
[] On Math team
[] Have all A's
[] Like spending time with your parents
[] have been called a nerd
[] are bullied
[] LOVE to learn
[x] Like your teachers
[] Watch history channel
[x] Never go anywhere on the weekends
[x] Have been called weird
[] Scared to talk to the opposite sex
[] Dont have pics of yourself on myspace
[x] read a book a month
[] You read on your last spring break
[] Have your own website
[] wear pocket protectors

Total: 5

15% nerd

27%jock

45%emo

21%slut

If you haven't noticed The parts represent the 4 high school stereotypes

Part 1= Emo
Part 2= Slut / man whore
Part 3= Jock
Part 4= Nerd

Omg, bitches @ school

{ 10:07 PM, Tuesday, February 20, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

So, i was minding my own buisness chatting on IM, when one of my friends says hi.

Nothing unusual, until he claims he's bob, and that he knows I like him, and that ihe's liked me back.

The friend, knows i like bob, so i think he's just messing. So i say "yea, wanna go out?" (in a kidding way).

And then he doesnt admit he's my friend, so i ask him to prove that it's bob. He does extremly well. I ask him to sign on as bob, and he does.

towards the end, he tells me that he's not really bob, but jack-ass (another nickname). I call him some names, and he says "im sorry, but it wa s adare"

"A DARE?! WTF?! So, what did you win? 5$? for betraying someone's trust, and hurting them?"

"No!! They told me if i didnt do this, then they would tell a secret of mine."

"WHAT?! Why me? what have i ever done to any of you?... wait, who are 'they'"

"I can't tell you or they'll spill my secret."

"Right, right.. you mother fucking cunt"

"Look, i g2g, dont be mad @ bob, he had nothing to do with this."

"I'm sure"

Depressing right? Let me tell you, i don't call people "mother fucking cunts" for just any reason. By this time, i was shaking and crying. And then my friend signs back on (you know, the one from the beginning). Well, it just so happens that he is friends with jack-ass. So i call him some names. He says he doesn't knwo what i was talking about. here is basically what our convo is:

"Hey what happened earlier?"

"Ha! Like I need to tell you, you were there!"

"Noo, i was outside shoveling the side walk"

"But you guys were @ tom's house" Tom is another nick name. That group of friends is called the flock five: bob, jack-ass, my friend(he shall be named... josh), tom and luke)

"Yeah, I was shoveling his sidewalk, cuz tom's mom is hot, and i like it when she thanks me"

"Ew thats disturbing... but jack-ass is a total dick, he always has been, just not to me. So i stay out of his way.. WHY ME?!"

"I couldnt tell you, probobly b/c u were the only one on that they could do it to."

"WHy bob? did you tell them?"

"No, i d k, i cant tell you"

"Well jack-ass is dead tomorrow in school"

"Lol, he deserves it. SHit my battery's low... g2g"

"kk, cya"

Funny thing: jack-ass wasn't there the next day. Or the next day. But today he was, and believe it or not, he asked me for money, and didn't look the least bit ashamed. Ha, I slapped him right across his face, and since i had told everybody what the flock five had done to me, nobody helped him, not even his buddies who were there. I smacked him hard.. really hard. It hurt my hand. God damnit. WHY ME?!

some steriotypes, can you relate? copy&post in a comment or a message the one that fits u best.

{ 10:23 PM, Monday, February 19, 2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

im SKINNY, so i MUST be aneorexic

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST be "evil" and not have any morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a drunk and have an unusaly large penis.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must be a gangster

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BiG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST say BLOTHH.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot.

I'm ASIAN so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so i must be SEXY

I listen to MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, so I MUST be a scene kid.

I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be covered up at all times.

I'm in ORCHESTRA/BAND, so i must be a geek

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm Depressed so I MUST be emo and cut myself

I'm a Blaxican so i am a fucked up kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

really really pathetic dont ya think?

Today was awesome

{ 10:52 PM, Sunday, February 18, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Today was like whoosh! It snowed here a few days ago, and the snow turned into ice, and where i live, there are ALOT of hills, so i did something really retarded. I went out in low-friction sneakers, and tried to snowboard down the biggest one (this hill just so happened to go down into the forest, and lead into the river... ugh). Mind you i was lacking an actual snowBOARD, so it was jsut my converse and me, and the trees, and the river.

Did i forget to say that i cannot snowboard worth a damn...

SO anyway, as soon as i get going, i knew it was a bad idea, but im one of them stupid people...(lol get the grammer thingy???) so i decide to keep going. So here i am, going down this hill, going faster and faster, with a damn forest approaching... And then the first tree passes. "Not too bad" i think, but then 3 more come, and another, and another.

By some random stroke of luck, im not hit by a single tree. But then there's the issue of that river...

So im going like 40mph ( i honestly dont know if thats an exageration) and then that damn river. SO ANYWAYS, i get to the point, where there's basically a mini-cliff thing.. I jump (well it was more like clumbsily slip) off it, and land on the ice. Amazingly it didn't break. So im in sneakers member? and this is real ice, not frozen snow. SO im on my ass trying to get up. but my feet keep slipping out from under me. then my stupid dog (whose like REALLY fat) sees me and hops on the ice. I hear it cracking underneath me. "Oh shit. Time to move" i think, but again, my effin shoes. SO i take off my shoes and socks, and finally i have some fricton. I run my ass off the ice, while my dumb dog is sniffing around on it, totally oblivious to the fact that it's about to break. SO im safe, and on some rocks i found. Im yelling to my dog, b/c i've never seen her swim, and it's an effing river, so she could get sucked under the ice. I hear this one big like mindshattering crack, and my dog finally looks up @ me. RUN!!!!!! RUN!!!! THank god, she does, but not fast enough, she falls into the ice. I scream, thinking i've just lost her. But she apperantly is a tremendous swimmer, and manages to get on solid ice.

SO as soon as we both reach dry land, we r still surrounded in frozen snow, and have no way to get back up. I take a big rock, and i swear to god, it was like in those movies, where the mountain climbers are deperate for their lives, and im bashing the ice to make foot holds for both me and my dog. We finally make it back up to my drive way, and trust me. I am never doing that EVER again...

Wow, agian I'm sorry

{ 12:18 AM, Sunday, February 18, 2007 } { 6 comments } { Link }

Fine, don't believe it was my "friend" (the only reason it's in quotation marks, iz because she isn't really a good friend, not because she is make believe)

I really don't care if you do or don't, that came out wrong, but i dont know how else to say it. Yes, i'm sorry for the things she said, and Yes, i expect some of you to stay bitter @ me for quite some timeand YES, i AM sorry for what she said, but NO i would never say anything like the things she put up there, and NO, i am not going to linger on apologies forever. SO accept my sorry's or don't, but this is the last time i will say it.

I'M SORRY

TO THE OFFENDED

{ 11:57 PM, Saturday, February 17, 2007 } { 4 comments } { Link }

Look, my friend hacked onto my account and obviously hurt alot of people. I cannot believe she said what she said about Asians. Trust me, me and her are no longer friends. And i hope and pray that all of you believe me on this, b/c i am a nice person. And i apologize for my friend's antics. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. And if you can delete all of the comments she put up on ur blogs, if you can't, i am sooo sorry. Believe me i am disgusted by what she has said, "faggot" is not an appropriate term for anyone at any age. Neither for that matter is "dyke".

Honestly, i dont know what else i can say.

Deppresion

{ 10:05 PM, Sunday, February 11, 2007 } { 6 comments } { Link }

I was in the shower, when i realized some things...

1) im fat

2) i'm a horrible human being incapable of emotion

3) The guy i love will never see things the way i do

4) I'm a retard

5) My grades suck

6) I cannot write english papers worth a damn

7) I FUCKING SUCK

WHY DO I EXISIT?!

oh i know, for the laughter of others right? WELL fuck that!
i want to be here for me

omg guess what?!

{ 07:32 PM, Wednesday, February 7, 2007 } { 2 comments } { Link }

So you know bob right? it seemes as though he has forgotten about shitface. AYAYAYAYAY soo happy! and me and him were flirting sooo much! ack

but i dont wanna ruin it *knocks on woood* soooo yeah, i loove BOB

check it out

{ 03:22 PM, Sunday, February 4, 2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

dude i finally made a myspace and this site is on it yo!

http://www.myspace.com/sirithesalamander

and p.s. I need help using the graphics thingy!! ACK

I LOOVE BLOGG

{ 12:55 AM, Sunday, February 4, 2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

dude i was looking @ some of the other like blog names and i was like sheesh.. people are soo weird (i should talk right? my tittle is supposed to be sung to the barbie doll "it's my scene" theme song..)!! I can't believe how fakely deep people are getting.. like "The world falls around us" and "As the Rose Bleeds"

*i made that one up and if anyone uses it i will personally kill them... so im copywriting it!!*

my life

{ 10:36 PM, Saturday, February 3, 2007 } { 2 comments } { Link }

I know, I know... I'm such a loser because I'm writing two entries in the same day!! whatever!! its not like i need your opinion...

OKAY ANYWAYS

So i have this HUGE CRUSH on a guy at school, his name will be.. bob right? Okay so anyway, I'm totally in love with him and he is a total flirt, so it's like hard for me. You can say that im being pathetic or w/e, but have you ever been in love? Then you know how much it hurts when like your boyfriend cheats on you, or you and your husband have a fight. Well that's what it's like for me like everyday, because i can't stop him from going out with other girls, or flirting with them or w/e. So bob and this other girl.. she will be um.. shitface.. ok well him and shitface and the rest of the popular click are going to a valentine's dinner and appernently you have to have a date to get in.

All of my Valentines days suck. Period. One valentine's day, my boyfriend decided to cheat on me, and the year right after that, igot in trouble w/ school and police and shiz..long story. SO ANYWAYS i think this valentine's day isn't going to be any better...

P.S.>>>> Yes, i did say "popular click" okay fine, i admit it, my burning passion for emo guys could not settle my lust for bob. there are NO emo guys in D.C. and if there are, they certainly don't go to m school. GAWD! well next year, a whole lot of new students are coming in, i hope at least one of them will be an emo guy hat i have a chance with. But then again, why would ny guy love me for ME? I mean look at me! well you cant can you.. so i will describe myself to you.

Hair color: Natraly it's blonde, but i dyed it so it was balck, but now of course, my roots are starting to show, and my fucking parents won't let me dye it again, so i look like im balding

Eye Color: Drab and boring, brown... Plain brown

Skin Color: Not sure how to describe it to you, it's not like tan, but it's not "emo pale" either, it's in the middle... I'm a freak

Other: Let's see, if i like something, im gonna buy it.. even if its a stupid shirt with a stupid saying on it. Umm...i hate my um... puppies... *cheeks turn red*

OH THAT REMINDS ME: My cheeks turn red after gym or a soccer game or w/e and they're really like puffy... Cuz im norwegian. Umm.... I bite my nails, so their not the perfectly manicured nails that guys seem to get a kick out of. Im also honest.... example> if you look ugly in an outfit, im gonna tell you about it, but only if it will like get people talking about it, if it's just the fact that I don't like it, i'll keep my mouth shut ya know? "better me now, then someone else later" right?

oh plus, im not particularly girly, meaning i dont like wearing makeup- regardless of the fact that i have like tons of it- however, i LOOVE shopping.

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO

I totally got off topic, but that's me... and i don't have a chance with any guys, i've only had 2 relationships, and they ended worse then badly. IDK i just dont know

FIRST CONCERT MAN!!!

{ 07:18 PM, Saturday, February 3, 2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

ACK!! dude i totally had like a blast @ the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's concert yesterday!! it was like totally tricked out man! and the starter bands were rocking! Like kaddisfly, and scary kids scarring kids!!! I found two new bands to obsess over that day...

But damn! I knew there were gonna be mosh pits... BUT DAMN!!! Dude you have no idea, a bunch of 15 year old girls got drunk right? And they started making out with guys.. but apperently one of the girls' boyfriends was there, and started beating up on all of the guys that the girls were making out with. i swear, i saw like 5 shirts fly up, and heard like vodka bottles being smashed. Dude it was insane!

I was in a mosh pit there, but it was just a friendly push-shove thing people use to get to the front. But over all, it was pretty sweeeet!

About Me

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