Tales From the Strip

Saturday, January 20, 2007 - Long Island Ice Teas

January 20, 2007

After a 6-day recovery from our last adventure at the Comic Strip Live (getting old is a bitch), we decided to pull no punches and ask tough questions tonight. That of course would be after we drank a lot and interviewed everyone. It was a miserable experience for the person who drove us home.

Seeking tonight’s words of wisdom, we searched for Club Manager JR and found him on top of Mount Sinai delivering an inspirational message to all humanity. “Thou shall drink heavily. Thou shall try our Long Island Ice Teas because they kick ass.” Following the masses traditional adherence to organized religion, we both ordered vodka tonics instead.

Club Manager JR Preaches to the Masses

Our Couple of the Night goes to Krystal Fess and Daniel Veedle who looked so happy together that a few of our patrons regurgitated their appetizers. Daniel loves the Comic Strip Live and took Krystal there to impress her. “They key to being happy is being blissfully unaware of anything unhappy.” Said Daniel Veedle. That is a fantastic talking point in the fight to legalize good drugs – Thanks Daniel!

Krystal Fess and Daniel Veedle so happy together (yay)

For the all the single ladies in New York looking for a good guy, the Comic Strip Live’s own Gill Hernandez is on the meat market. Gill is interested in a cute, caring woman who makes him buy her shit. Below is a photo spread of the man the New York Times once called “A part of America.”

The Faces of Gil Hernandez - Enjoy your window shopping ladies

Inside we bumped into Comedian Spanky (Seen on NBC, HBO, MTV and WH1) who recalled one of his most memorable experiences as a performer. “I did a show at a nudist colony. First time I was able to tell if a gentleman was Jewish before I spoke with him.” Said Spanky.

Spanky admiring his headshot

Spanky says that he loves performing at CSL and that one of his favorite experiences was taping a series of innovative political rants that became a huge hit on YouTube. For those of you seeking meaning in life, you might want to pick up Spanky’s bestselling book, ‘Men Are Sluts.’ It’s so funny that you’ll totally forget how much your life sucks with lines like "The female orgasm is like God. I believe in it, but I can't prove it exists."

Laughing away with Spanky, we encountered Karith Foster (Comedy Central's "Premium Blend") who was just checked out by a girl. While it’s not the sandbox she plays in, Foster admits that if it were to happen, the other party would have to bring a nice rack to the table “I’m packing a full punch here. In alcohol value, they’re worth at least two Long Island ice teas and 6 glasses of pinot grigio.”said Karith. “Two gallons of booze.” Spanky chimed in.

Karith Foster dazzles the crowd and knows what she's worth

Outside Ryan and Matt bumped into Glen Cove natives Craig Mickie and friends who proudly claimed they were responsible for bringing NO illegitimate kids into the world in 2006 (stop reading for a sec and clap your hands). Chris pointed out that most of the group thinks Joseph was conceived by accident because he just has the “bastard child look in his eyes.” However Chris also pointed out that Joseph gets more action than a toilet seat in a baked bean testing lab. Go Joseph!

Craig Mickie with friends - Highlighted is Pimp Daddy Joseph

We also bumped into four of the coolest Australians visiting New York “Everyone recommended this place and we had a lot fun,” said Claire Parry. Claire’s friend Nathan Sparke said Americans are cool and the only way that we can piss off his people is if we mock their drinking abilities. Apparently Nathan can drink any Kennedy under the table and remain consciously aware. Well… except for the night when missed a flight, exposed himself, and had relations with something he’s hopefully sure was a human.

Nathan Sparke, Claire Parry at the rest of Team Australia.