Friday, September 19, 2008 - THE ONLINE PREDATOR'S PROFILE

Friday, September 12, 2008 - REVISIONIST HISTORY

• it never happened
• it didn't happen that way
• what are you talking about
• you're/she's a liar/ crazy/ nutjob/ wacko
• why can't you move on/ get over it, etc etc
• forgive & forget
  

 

"The one thing which is a clear and present threat to the narcissist's reality revisionism is your memory. I am sure you can think back right now and immediately recall how your narcissist has tried to subvert, change, re-invent, disparage, lie and deny your memory of every one of those moments when his true colors were displayed. Those moments when his "interior rot" was exposed. The narcissist is supremely agitated when you dare to voice your recall of events which reflect badly on him. Accusations are hurled at you about how you are "unwilling to let go of the past", you're "unforgiving", cruel and mean-spirited. The hypocrisy of these accusations we'll overlook for now as there is nothing like a narcissist for loving to rehearse your past ad nauseumalways actively working to prevent you from forming "an intelligible narrative" of who she is by her campaign to discredit and invalidate your memories of her bad acts.

"The very thing you need to do the narcissist is desperately working to prevent you from doing.

"The inconsistencies evident in the behaviour of the narcissist -- prior to his discovery -- should never be simply accepted, only to be forgotten. Rather, one must ponder the inconsistencies in behaviour until they become consistent, that is, until the apparently inconsistent behaviour acquires an intelligible narrative that rings true."

"What this requires is that you pay attention to those behaviors which seem inconsistent and which strike you as being wrong or "off". Early on in a relationship you may just accept these as anomalies, but do not forget. I am not suggesting you take an unforgiving and harsh attitude in your relationships. I'm simply saying pay attention to those moments when your inner radar is alerted and don't just dismiss your impressions and observations and flush your memory banks. Your memory is essential in the long term if you are going to make sense of what may not make sense at the time it is happening. If what you've seen or experienced is truly an inconsistent moment the passage of time will testify to that. Over time, though, inconsistencies may very well become consistent in what they reveal. You must be willing to use your memory and re-form the narrative of your relationship with this person when you have enough evidence on hand to do so.

"Do not let another person have the power to force you to revise your memories to suit them.

"Narcissists know your memory and your judgment are your best defense against them which is why they work so hard to disarm you of them."

Friday, September 5, 2008 - THE CYBER NARCISSIST

To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential sources of narcissistic supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.

The somatic finds cyber-sex and cyber-relationships aplenty. The cerebral claims false accomplishments, fake skills, erudition and talents. Both, if minimally communicative, end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, followers, stalkers, erotomaniacs, denigrators, and plain nuts. The constant attention and attendant quasi-celebrity feed and sustain their grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image.

The Internet is an extension of the real-life Narcissistic Pathological Space but without its risks, injuries, and disappointments. In the virtual universe of the Web, the narcissist vanishes and reappears with ease, often adopting a myriad aliases and nicknames. He (or she) can thus fend off criticism, abuse, disagreement, and disapproval effectively and in real time - and, simultaneously, preserve the precarious balance of his infantile personality. Narcissists are, therefore, prone to Internet addiction.

The positive characteristics of the Net are largely lost on the narcissist. He is not keen on expanding his horizons, fostering true relationships, or getting in real contact with other people. The narcissist is forever the provincial because he filters everything through the narrow lens of his addiction. He measures others - and idealizes or devalues them - according to one criterion only: how useful they might be as sources of narcissistic supply.

The Internet is an egalitarian medium where people are judged by the consistency and quality of their contributions rather than by the content or bombast of their claims. But the narcissist is driven to distracting discomfiture by a lack of clear and commonly accepted hierarchy (with himself at the pinnacle). He fervently and aggressively tries to impose the "natural order" - either by monopolizing the interaction or, if that fails, by becoming a major disruptive influence.

But the Internet may also be the closest many narcissists get to psychodynamic therapy. Because it is still largely text-based, the Web is populated by disembodied entities. By interacting with these intermittent, unpredictable, ultimately unknowable, ephemeral, and ethereal voices - the narcissist is compelled to project unto them his own experiences, fears, hopes, and prejudices.

Transference (and counter-transference) are quite common on the Net and the narcissist's defense mechanisms - notably projection and projective identification - are frequently aroused.

The therapeutic process is set in motion by the - unbridled, uncensored, and brutally honest - reactions to the narcissist's repertory of antics, pretensions, delusions, and fantasies.

The narcissist - ever the intimidating bully - is not accustomed to such resistance. Initially, it may heighten and sharpen his paranoia and lead him to compensate by extending and deepening his grandiosity. Some narcissists withdraw altogether, reverting to the schizoid posture. Others become openly antisocial and seek to subvert, sabotage, and destroy the online sources of their frustration. A few retreat and confine themselves to the company of adoring sycophants and unquestioning groupies.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 - BROKEN GLASS - On Personal Revelation

Friday, August 29, 2008 - WATCH OUT! Men Seducing Women with Covert Hypnosis

WATCH! Men Seducing Women with Hypnosis
by Sandra Brown, MA

HORRIFYING! PLEASE GET INVOLVED IN STOPPING THIS

Ladies -- watch out for this:

There has been a growing field of books, e-books, seminars and training for men on how to seduce women using hypnosis!

This comes in the 'back door' of her defenses and creates the sensation of intimacy and connection where obviously none exists. Using mind control - sex can occur very rapidly without her being aware at to 'why.'

Today, hundreds of websites offer young men and adults the ability to come and be trained in person by 'seduction guru's.' If this isn't appalling enough that men are being encouraged to use 'false' ways of attaching to women, they are now teaching hypnosis and other forms of neuro linguistic programming to men all over the world.

This, in my opinion is not only emotional rape but it's the proliferation of pathology training in it's WORST form!!

To make matters worse, the sickest of all the Seduction Gurus's (who is mentally ill, bi-polar and has been hospitalized in psych hospitals) was the star of a Reality Show about seduction and his pick-up techniques hosted by VH1 called 'The Pick Up Artist.'

If you want this c*rap to stop, please write VH1 about this show at:
VH1
1515 Broadway
NY NY 10036.

They are owned by MTV Networks which is a subsidary of Viacom at the same address. So while you're at it, write to MTV Networks and Viacom.
Also, flood their phone lines at: 212-846-1753 or 212-258-7800. Let's give them an ear full!

Starve the Vampire
by Sandra Brown, MA
Author of "How to Spot a Dangerous Man"
(with some minor additions from The Exposer)

Pathological persons are energy and emotional vampires. They live off of your emotional content.

Part of their personality deficit is the lack of a stable and consistent inner core of a self concept so they need constant attention, distraction, and identity management from which they draw their identity.

Lots of their identity is acquired from their relationships since internally there is so little core self to draw from. This is part of the reason they are so exhausting.

In order to get their emotional 'blood supply' from you, they 'hook you' into conversations, arguments, or any other kind of response they can get from you. They live vicariously thru your own emotional expressions of love, frustration, confusion, etc. It doesn't always matter 'what' emotion is fed to the vampire (although narcissists like adoration) but just that there is SOME content is enough for them -- even your tears, or your screams, or your insults. It doesn't matter...they just 'need' something, anything from you in the way of content. If they don't get the blood supply/emotional content from you, they will seek it elsewhere.

(Remember Dracula? He just moved from town to town taking it where he could get it?)

When you begin to break up he will fear the loss of emotional supply. He won't fear losing you so much as he will fear not getting his identity and his sense of self from you and/or the relationship. He fears the loss of self or 'who am I without her?' This is a very fragmented ego state -- one which only exists thru relationships with others.

So when you try to break up, he may continue to contact you which is why they are hard to break up with. They are predictable in their approaches to get you to respond to them (you are feeding the vampire his emotional blood supply every time you talk to him).

These are some of his approaches and if you can get a bag of popcorn and just watch it like it was a LifeTime for Women movie and detach from it, you will see a whole movie pan out like this:

* One contact he's angry, blaming, shaming.

When you don't respond to that verbally or emotionally (think like you are lobotomized with no facial expression...that's what I want women to do with these men)

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond... (Are you enjoying the popcorn and movie about now??)

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

When you don't respond...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - Internet Addiction and Internet Sex

We are living in exponential times. Over one billion people in the world have access to the Internet. The population of the United States in 2006 was 299 million. Approximately 220 million Americans now have access the Internet and 40% have high speed access. Children go to the Internet for information, entertainment, relationships and support. The number of text messages sent each day is greater than the population of the world. If MySpace were a country, the number of registered users would make it the 11^th largest country.

Americans are going on-line looking for information, entertainment and relationships. Use of the Internet (also called the Net) has grown faster than any technology in history including the telephone, television, computers, video games and CD players. The Net provides everyday users with primarily the Web, e-mail, instant messaging, live chat and the ability to purchase goods and services on-line.

• Women are now on-line more than men.
• 50% of the people on-line lie about their age, weight, job, marital status and gender.
• 20% of the people going on-line will experience clear negative impacts to their life.
• Use of the Internet is a contributing factor in nearly 50% of all family, relationship and family problems.
• 11% of the people going on-line are becoming compulsive or addicted.

• Personal neglect
• Compulsive checking and "clicking"
• Isolation and avoidance from people
• Lost productivity
• Depression
• Marital problems
• Sexual addiction
• Gambling away savings.
• Internet abuse in the workplace
• Academic failure.

Using the Net is not a problem for Internet users who are on-line less than two hours a week. Heavy users are at risk when they are plugged more than 18 hours a week. There is no official diagnosis for an addiction to the Internet. The proposed disorder is called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). There is rather exact criteria proposed but it essentially easy to spot a problem. A compulsive and potentially addicted user is on-line more than 10 hours a day in non-work related activity. Answering the question "Am I addicted?" is based on four questions.

1. Do you feel better when you are on-line, chatting, or exploring the Net?
2. Are you or have you been spending more and more time on-line?
3. Are you on-line when you should being doing something else?
4. Have you tried to cut back and don’t?

You probably have a compulsion if you feel a strong need to get on-line when you should be doing other things in your life. For instance, "Are you forgetting to eat?" Or, "Are you getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning to go to the bathroom and checking your e-mail before you go back to bed?" Checking e-mail at night when no one else is up and for no reason is a compulsion. You may even have early signs of addiction if you feel a need to be on the Internet more and more and feel worse when you stop.

People go on-line and they are making friends. For many people the Internet is like a private night club or the place where you can find the friends you’ve always wanted. You don’t have to go out and find real people and have an honest relationship. You can stay in your own chair and explore endless activities. You can walk away and come right back. There is always something happening. People will even miss you and ask you to come back. If you embarrass yourself, or people get mad, then you can just change your name, age and marital status and just start over.

It doesn’t take much in the way of bravery to go into the Net. Once you’re in, a user can go anywhere and see almost anything without social consequences or anyone knowing. As result, the Internet is a fostering uninhibited social and sexual behavior. There are clear impacts on relationships when people become uninhibited, dishonest or secretive in life or on the Net. There is much less honesty, integrity and accountability on the Net than there is at work, in school or in a neighborhood.

The Internet is now a contributing factor to nearly one half of all
marital or family problems. In some cases, relationships are breaking down when a men or woman develops a relationship in cyber society. High levels of Internet use can produce social isolation, loss of real intimacy and depression.

Men, women and families are going into counseling for relationship problems that are partly or entirely caused compulsive internet use or virtual addictions. Women are filling for divorce claiming that their husbands are having sex on-line or looking at "pornography" for hours every day. Kids stay up all night. Parents stop relating and spend less time raising their children.

The Internet is not only cutting into social and family time but it is also cutting into work. For some employees the Internet is just part of the job. But up to 70% of employees who have high speed Internet access at work can spend up 1 hour a day involved in non-work related activities. At least 6% of people at work use the Internet more than 6 hours per week for non-work related activities.

Knowing what can happen to you, your friends or even your children won’t necessarily help. Heavy users will tell you that the Net will change you. If you spend enough time on-line, the rest of the world starts to look unreal or strange. You may not even notice the change. There is no sure way to know if you will get hooked or how long it can take. Here’s how it happens.

Prolonged chats on-line and mouse clicking on the Internet will produce what psychologist call a dissociative state. Net users separate from reality and enter cyber reality. Anyone with children has seen how children can watch television for countless hours. Children and even adults watching television long enough will enter a "hypnotic trance." They "meld" into the television and disconnect from reality. Limited use is a form or healthy recreation or escape. Prolonged and repeated use can create problems.

People can disappear into a good book or a movie, but there is always an end to a book or a movie. The Internet is especially addictive because the Net is endless, interactive, social and exploding with never ending images and information. The Net offers exciting relationships 24 hours a day all over the world. Before the Internet children and couples stopped working and talking with their friends after dark. Spending the evening together reading, playing games and watching television together was the norm. But not anymore.

How do people get caught up in the Net? For one thing, human beings are curious. We like to see more and do more. Many of us like to travel. When we can’t travel, we like to read books and go to movies. We like to feel competent and in control. Human beings like to feel better and they don’t like to feel bad. We like to do things that feel good and avoid things that feel worse. We especially like doing pleasurable things more and more. Being on the Internet is not necessarily about having a good time. Being on-line might make you feel better but it might just change how you feel. It can be an escape from reality that isn’t necessarily better for you. For some people, a painful or disgusting fantasy is preferable to a less painful or disgusting reality.

Have you ever noticed that some people watch television even when there is nothing good to watch. And instead of turning the TV off, they resort to channel switching. The act of switching channels repeatedly is an annoying process that makes the rest of us want to leave the room or take the remote control away from somebody. The Net is a lot like television only the Net is timeless, interactive, challenging and endless.

Psychologists explain the seduction and addictive nature of the Net primarily in terms of a behavior modification process called a variable reinforcement schedule. That means you don’t know how much of a reward you will get and when for your behavior. A variable reinforcement schedule is the most addictive reward system. Slot machines are designed and operate in the same principle.

When you keep playing a slot machine, the odds are that you will eventually loose everything. But the human brain loves the possibilities and excitement of "winning" in the moment and it ignores the long term consequences. The occasional win doesn’t make up for the overall loss. People play anyway because the occasional win is highly rewarding for those who play long enough. Some people can walk away and stay away. Other can’t walk away or they always come back.

The Internet is also more addictive than a slot machine – especially once they begin to master the technology. Playing on the Net can give you self-confidence. A slot machine doesn’t. The most common rewards from a slot machine are those curious noises, spinning pictures and flashing lights. Once in a while a person wins some money.

Would you believe it, a cable modem is more addictive than a slower dial-up modem. Most people had no patience for the Internet when they had a dial up modem. The rewards were slow and boring. That changed when high speed modems allowed for rapid "clicking" and responses. People with high speed modems are now disappearing into a world where they wait anxiously for the result of the next click. The surprise, shock value and speed in which a person gets these "hits" of information and imagery are the key to creating a compulsion and addiction. Time begins to have no meaning when your next "hit" is just a "click" away. There is no time to think about something else you could or should be doing - unless you are waiting. People don’t think of what else they should be doing and they increasingly find there is always time for one more click and one more chat.

More than a slot machine, everything on the Internet is an adventure with social opportunities. It can be mildly or tremendously exhilarating. People feel rewarded when they finally figure it out why their software or a web site is not working. Every improvement in your skills including upgrades in software and your access to new and exciting links can produces a mind altering change in your brain chemistry. The most powerful change is called a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that controls brain function including decision making, impulsiveness, and it is released when you experience certain stimulation. It can improve your mood, confidence and produce a feeling of pleasure.

Men dominated the Net until just recently. Women are on-line more than men now. Men seek out pornography more than women. Women a seeking out relationships. But men and women are using the Internet equally for "cybering" (cyber sex). Cyber sex is defined as the consensual sexual discussion on-line for the purpose of achieving arousal or an orgasm.

People involved in cyber sex universally minimize the importance and impact of their behavior. They say "It’s was just on-line" or "It’s not real sex." Patients are telling counselors and therapists that having cyber sex with an adult is not an affair (assuming it really was an adult and not a teenage boy). 

Marriage and family counselors are no longer asking, "Did you had an affair?" Or, "Did you have sex with someone?" We are now asking "Have you have had sex with someone that you have not had sex with in person?" The bad news is that some teenagers are becoming sexual addicts by the age of 16. The good news is that they are not necessarily having intercourse yet.

What’s changes people most is their access to sexual content. People would never have access to such a wide range of sexually explicit material without the Internet. They can get it quickly and easily. It’s really easy for children to explore the Net for hours at a time without being caught. The problem is that people become "cross involved" with other content when they are exploring less intense material. There are web sites that are gateways to other more explicit and shocking content. Before long people can end up involved in sexual content that is way beyond their original interest and desire. It eventually becomes sick.

Many people go on-line to find information. But unfortunately the most perverse human and even human-animal sexual interactions are available on-line. The biggest "rushes" for the severe addicts come from violent sexual cruelties that are available on-line. People tell themselves that can just click and look for a second, but they don’t realize that the trauma and stimulating effects are addictive. The most addictive content is the most shocking that changes your mood quickly. A quick look at graphic violence is a "rush" even if you find it offensive. Normal people can become addicted to disgusting content not because they approve but because it changes and excites their mood. People become excited and disgusted at the same time.

As people become more comfortable, they begin to disappear and literally live on-line. Some will eventually move from back from the Internet to the real world. Eventually some will start seeking out people for real sex instead of cyber sex. A "danger downloader" is someone who views content that eventually creates a compulsion to explore potentially dangerous behavior in real life. "Danger downloaders" actually go out to fulfill their sexual fantasies with people who have cyber names like "Slave Master".

People argue that the Internet saves time, but most people are merely spending more time learning how to save less and less time. The end result is that home users are loosing track of time and spending countless hours mastering and playing around with a technology that accomplishes nothing and generate no income. They end up getting behind on work, chores, child care and spending time with real people.

Internet technology does not add to the quality of life for most people. It provides a sense of mastery especially because the technology is unreliable and it requires people to master a changing technology. It is interesting challenge and often rewarding.

Did you know that more and more web sites are structured to get you there, keep you there, expose you to advertising and get you to spend money? All kinds of trickery and technology are being used to manipulate people. For instance, WhiteHouse.Com is a pornography site. The real White House web site is at WhiteHouse.Gov. And if you mistype the address of a web site for an airline or famous person you could end up in a web site for sadomasochistic bondage. Even worse, you might find that you are trapped and can’t get out. Backloading is a technique where you can’t get out of pornography web sites once you get in. You eventually realize that you have to shut down your computer, but not until colorful, sexual and even traumatic images are burned into your brain.

Would you let your child go anywhere and spend time with anyone they wanted?

Do you want your child working on homework, playing music or shooting baskets with potential friends?

Do you want your child spending 2 to 4 hours a day on the Internet playing games, looking at pictures, talking with strange people in chat rooms or visiting a "private bedroom" while they pretend to be an adult?

Would you let your husband go over to the house of a woman you don’t know and spend hours talking about love, sex, his dreams, his frustration and the difficulty raising your children while he lies about his marital status?

Do you want to meet people on-line when you know that most of that relationship is based on a lie?

Do you want to work at building a real friendship that could last a lifetime?

Would you let your child go to the library if a pornography shop was in the back and no adults were watching? Or worse yet, would you let your child go into a pornography shop where adults were watching?

Psychologists agree than most things in life that have value require effort to accomplish. The Internet is a tool, but not a life. The Internet is a technological challenge, but it is not a real life challenge. It provides users with a sense of mastery in a machine world but not society, work, school or a relationship. The Internet allows for uninhibited social and sexual interactions. The Internet creates a feeling of adventure. It is stimulating and it can easily become shocking. If you need to be certain, go to www.Google.Com and run a search using sexual words. Then be prepared to be shocked at what you, your family and friends can easily find without charge and without verification of age.

There is no doubt that the Internet is becoming a substitute for an active life. The Internet is socially safe. But does it really help with shyness? You can go anywhere and be anyone you want on the Internet. Overweight people don’t need to become physically active and eat properly, they can pretend they are young, beautiful and buff, and no one will challenge their fantasy. Shy teenager girls and boys can have sex on line without fear of rejection. You can look at anything and talk to anyone you want without your parents, friends or spouse finding out. There is virtually no accountability when you are on-line.

The research on children is becoming very interesting. It turns out that teenagers are in greater risk that adults. Shy boys and girls in large school are especially vulnerable to having problems. Small schools have a lower incidence of teenage Internet addiction. Shy kids in large schools are withdrawing into their rooms. Some are becoming withdrawn, disturbed, and impatient. A few are becoming a violence risk. It should be no surprise that some teenagers prefer the cyber world and become infuriated and lonely in the real world.

Children (and Adults) with ADHD are especially vulnerable. The Internet appears to have calming effect and is the perfect escape from distractibility. Instant messaging presents the greatest risk for ADHD-ers. It is not only becomes compulsive but it also puts teens in virtual proximity to adults pretending to be kids.

Internet use began to cut down on family TV time. But now people are one the Internet while they are watching TV. Chat, E-mail and Instant Messaging have become major forms of entertainment for an older children and teens.

The Internet has been designed to be visible and accessible. At present, there is no way to effectively prevent access to inappropriate content nor is there a reliable way to restrict activity. What methods exist can be circumvented by clever children and adults. Fortunately there are a number of ways to control Internet use.

Businesses have developed the technology to monitor employee Internet use in the work place. Employees are less likely to abuse this resource if they know it is being monitored. Human accountability and social consequences are a major deterrent.

Another way to create accountability is to place a computer in a public place. Visibility creates social pressure and consequences for actions. People are less likely to view socially objectionable material in public. Signs of compulsive behavior will become apparent to friends, peers or family members when Internet use is public.

While business has adopted technology to monitor employee use, families do not yet have ready access to such software. There is software to load onto your computer and to your Internet services provider that can monitor and let parents and adults know how their computer is being used.

Psychological and even physical safety are real concerns since children are connecting to all the information on the planet. Very few parents would not let their child go anywhere anytime and speak to anyone. Likewise, parents should not allow their child to go on-line unless they know where they are going and who they will be with. Leaving a child alone in their room with access to the world is a risky decision.

You can’t allow yourself to become Internet ignorant if you care about your relationships or family. You need to know what your employees at work and family members are doing. What adults do in their free time is their business. What you employees and children do is another matter. Children under the age of 16 are not ready to drive a car and they are not capable of resisting or understanding the dangers of being on the Internet. Monitoring and supervision is essential.

Finally, prevention is more likely to be assured if you maintain balance in your life. People go on-line looking for something missing in their life or they become involved in content and relationships on-line that begin to interfere with important routines, responsibilities and relationships. Making a conscious effort and commitment to a balanced life in crucial.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Friday, August 22, 2008 - Narcissism & Attention Seeking Behavior: More Common Than You Think!

The serial bully displays behaviour congruent with many of the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and self-importance, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, people with narcissistic personality disorder overestimate their abilities and inflate their accomplishments, often appearing boastful and pretentious, whilst correspondingly underestimating and devaluing the achievements and accomplishments of others.

1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, being the world's best lover or finding ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends (Cyberpaths!)
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - Doug Beckstead, aka Dog_Driver, aka DogDriver, aka Grizzly_Adams - Predator & Liar

Doug Beckstead aka Dog _Driver also known as Grizzly_Adams and many other aliases to avoid detection.

He used to be a regular member of 'The Virtual Irish Pub' chatroom,   www.zingbear.com

Currently he is known to frequent several forums to lay emphasis on his intellectual interests. He uses these forums,  together with his career as an historian to lure in and gain his targets trust in him. After all he is a decent guy, or so he likes to allude to others. Unfortunately he has no morals or values when it comes to conning and seducing his many unsuspecting victims.

He makes many comments on armyairforce.com
and visits the forum on the daily Anchorage news and social and historical sites to name but a few.

He is currently employed by the Elmendorf Air Force base as an historian, in Anchorage, Alaska.   Formally employed by the National Park Services also as an historian in Fairbanks, Alaska.
Prior to that he was employed by the National Park Services in Anchorage, again as an historian.

   
WARNING ~ This married, serial player/ sexual predator of an historian, from Alaska, was in Arlington, VA for a funeral and onto Maine for a memorial service this July 07. He attended two services for a fallen airman, who died in a B-24 plane crash in 1943. He is not to be trusted. He is a glory hunter on the make. He is a Narcissistic Sociopath who is 48 years old, very overweight, tall, just over 6ft, with dark hair turning grey, he wears bifocals. He hides his face under a thick beard and is fond of wearing baseball caps. He collects these off of his targets, he makes a point of telling you he likes to collect them.

He is MARRIED (mostly he HIDES this until he gains your trust and gets what he wants from you). This was easy for him to do whilst living in Fairbanks, he lived there alone whilst his wife and family remained living in the family home in Anchorage.

He (like all predators)  takes a special interest at seeking out and targeting vulnerable women in troubled marriages or relationships online. He PRETENDS to give a damn... WARNING, if you think you have troubles now, they will only become worse with this predator in your life.

Likes to play 'mr fix it man'. Beckstead is not interested in being your friend, he has ulterior motives. If you fail to comply, he then tires of you, that is when he starts playing his cruel head games. He is into mirroring your likes and dislikes in the beginning (all part of his game).

Be WARNED as this will slowly turn into PROJECTION; as HE lays all the blame in your direction for the things HE has already done TO YOU, is planning to do and IS doing to you.

Doug Beckstead uses lots of sob stories concerning the "ill wife" who is according to him, "allergic to the sun", and has "many other health problems".  The Wife also said, according to poor Beckstead, the day after they were married "I hope sex is not important to you".

Doug Beckstead PLAYS the martyr and the victim well. This is used as a sympathy ploy to draw you into his sick web of lies and deceit. Doug Beckstead is a classic attention seeker and glory hunter. He is the deadbeat father of two adult children. He is aware of this and tells you how he has "failed them", all to gain your sympathy. Often PREYS on younger, vulnerable (divorced, abused, depressed, disabled)  women with young children via the internet.

He said he mingles in the local community and offers to "fix things" for you. BEWARE as it is all a charade to worm his way into your life, especially if your husband is away, or you are a woman on your own. Brags about this in great detail, even to his current target.    

He then likes to project the fact that you are jealous because of this extra-curricular attention (womanizing). He has a penchant for lonely Grandmothers and their grandchildren as well. Becomes highly critical of any child who does not warm to his attention.

Showers your children with attention and gifts, too much attention (RED FLAG). Do NOT trust this man, especially near young children. He IS a sexual deviant.

Likes to play Santa at local venues during the Christmas period. He often did this whilst living in Fairbanks, Alaska. Doug Beckstead, at his own admittance, has a hidden past that connects him to at least two sexual harassment accusations held against him. One concerning a former female boss in Anchorage during 1994 and another in Eagle, Alaska concerning two young girls. He gets close to you to get close to your children.

He WILL use you.  To Beckstead his online "loves" are JUST OBJECTS.   He was forced to leave Anchorage some years back to live in Fairbanks because of his first sexual-harrasment offense. He abandoned his wife and children in Anchorage and thus began his double life on the prowl in Fairbanks; without them. Commuting infrequently when he could be bothered -- back to Anchorage to see his family.

Women indicated they thought the psychopath was telling the truth during the early days of the relationship. Psychopaths and “truth” are an interesting concept. Psychopaths lie so well and distort the truth easily because they don’t have a conscience about lying. They are pathological liars which means they will lie about anything even things that won’t result in negative consequences to them.

Psychopaths also lie as a form of dominance. They enjoy controlling the reality of truth or not-truth that they give to women. Additionally, part of the psychopath’s pathology is his “pathological world view” which includes how he sees himself, others, and the world. His world view also dictates the issues of truth in relationship to other people. His view on truth is skewed and he may believe that truth is what he thinks it is, as opposed to hard fact. In the beginning, the psychopath appeared to be truthful, although he wasn’t.

While truth is the bedrock of intimate relationships, a psychopath’s world view of a relationship does not include the concept of truth. He believes, “each person’s truth is how he or she sees it.” He tells the truth only when he is in trouble for lying and forced to. His world view of manipulating others is seen as a twisted form of “opportunity” for him. Living off of others, in his world view, is “the fortunate opportunity given to others to be around me.” Or, “there are givers and receivers and I’m just a receiver.” Sexual acting out is also not likely to be understood as a flagrant abuse in a relationship. 

- Sandra Brown, MA; Women Who Love Psychopaths

Late September 2006 witnessed his move back to the family home in Anchorage, now his children are fully grown. A FULL and THOROUGH investigation into this predator's background will provide you with more evidence. He has had many prior addresses and is not a native Alaskan, he originates from the state of Utah.

He has lied to his wife.  Wife Carol is now aware of his sexual misconduct towards other women, but she chooses to ignore it and or believe his lies. In recent events Carol has lied to officials to cover her husband's tracks.

Beckstead is dangerous and dishonest. He uses the internet to procure free gifts, sex, food and lodgings on his many ventures across the US. Do NOT be fooled by his charm and career (likes to use his career to gain your trust), it is all a facade for his sociopath behavior which lurks closely beneath. Do web searches on this man's NAME and read EVERY HIT!!

Projection and 'Word Salad' are this mans speciality. Doug Beckstead is a lying conman, a free loading opportunist who will take you for everything he can get out of you. He ignores you when you ask him important questions and turns VERY ANGRY if you persist on an honest answer. WE all had a right to the truth. Avoid this pervert at all costs. He likes to tell you that "EVERY woman who ever had anything negative to say about him was after him".

He will say the same thing about you once he has had his fill, or as in our case we wised up to his psychopath ways and ran while we still could. He warns you in advance by preempting that you may just find out something nasty you do not want to hear or know about him, especially if it is online, in a chat room. Sadly, it is all true.

That is why you only get part of the shocking story to begin with. It is all a sympathy lure, because to question him is according to him "to doubt him". DO ask questions, he dislikes this and it shows and later proves he has a lot to hide. There are just too many inconsistencies and excuses in this predators track record.

He is the product of an "alcoholic mother" and a "serial cheating father", drinks heavily himself and says he relies on anti-depressants to get himself through life. He often uses the clashes of his many medications and the latest health crisis as an excuse for his many "meltdowns", in the beginning. A deadly cocktail all round.

His blame on others for his out of control, sociopathic behavior which knows no bounds. Everyone is at fault, everyone else is to blame, NEVER him. He takes NO responsibility and shows no shame or remorse for his actions. Stay well away from this low life predator. He only pretends to help the vulnerable for his own gratification. His sole intention is to use you and hurt you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, we'd like to remind you - the moment your suspected cyberpath says "don't talk to so-and-so because she's jealous/ obsessed with me/ stalking me/ a liar.. etc" MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT PERSON IMMEDIATELY! 99.99% of the time what the predator said was a lie and they have some bad history with this person (aka - the person they are telling you not to talk to knows the truth about them!)

EOPC comments are in purple.

Here's an excerpted email from another of Beckstead's hapless targets:

From: PXXX
Date: Apr 18, 2007 4:49 PM
To: xxxxxxxx@XXX.com

HI xxxxxx,

I am not sure if I plan on writing him or not. I have thought about it, just to say shame on you for hurting so many people.

I want you to know that if I had ever known that you were a part of his life, I would never have talked with him like I did. I am a very naive and trustful person, even of those on the internet and believed him to be what he claimed he was. Unfortunately I have learned that there are many people who are not as they claim to be, and the internet provides a safety net to hide behind. He obviously used this many times.

I take a small bit of responsibility for my part when Doug and I were talking. I wanted to believe what he was saying, and I knew that there was a huge risk in trusting someone who I had no real access to. But, lessons have been learned from such experiences. <