21/4/2007 - Greatest Hits

Hey, what's up, old blog? I doubt anybody still cares about you but let's get this over with:

I am thinking of getting a new account name. Because this one sucks.

I am thinking of deleting all my blogs in favor of making three or so blogs that have categories. Political blog. Religious blog. Hata blog.

Anyway.
I probably won't.

LOVE YOU LOL
Andi

25/3/2007 - Digging Myself A Desert Grave

24/3/2007 - Touch My Tra-La-La

Dear Children, gather, for the story of Andi Jade once more, a new episode in his turmoil.

Andi was already very sad, kids. His best friend had just screamed at him for having badly cut hair, he had missed Scrubs, and his cat was dying. Andi was very sad. He was drawing in his sketchbook when he started hearing screams coming up from the basement. Oh dear! He ran to his bedroom hoping that he wouldn't hear any more, but it was only worse. His stomach wrenched with every swear his father shouted. Andi started to choke and upon hearing the barking of his little doggy, took up the little doggy into his arms and ran into the snow-filled backyard, placing the little doggy on his lap. The little doggy struggled against Andi's arms. Andi waited half an hour for his parents to notice his departure, and when they didn't, he decided to take the little doggy for a stroll around the block, or to take the little doggy far from the parents' troubles.

He had been out of the house for maybe ten minutes, up by the corner, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Andi answered it. His mother asked him to come home and Andi was fully expecting both of the parents, a lawyer, and papers. Instead, there was only his mother.

You see kids, Andi would love for his parents to get a divorce. He would rather live with his insane mother alone than his insane mother and transparent father.

so that's what happened. they're not getting a divorce, even though my dad punched my mom in the arm while she was driving on the way to the movie theatre. Look:

21/3/2007 - Lazy Wednesday

Today I refused school. I had an appointment with a lady and therefore couldn't be bothered to take out an hour of school. Damn I have to pee. Anyhow. It was great. You weren't invited.

I miss everybody.
And not in the "none of them have been online in quite some time" way, in the "I forever lost all of my friends." way. So suck it, suck it hard.

GAY PORN GAY PORN INTERNET SCAMS
++An=Di+\--

16/3/2007 - What's A Boy in Love To Do?

shit, I'm an idiot.

So this week was the gala. And... I'm just gonna tell you about today, cause that's all I can remember.

I was driving in the car with my mom, and I was sleeping. When I woke up WHAT IS LOVE? was playing and I was like "shit memories!!" and then we got to the theater and I left. It was about seven when suddenly "GUESS WHO'S HERE" came fluttering past my ears. Dillon. Martindale. I was afraid the whole time to talk to him until I had to leave and I ran up to him and said "HEY BITCH!" and then ran off. He looked kind of hurt so I was all "lol I win" until I realized I should have told him I was someone else or something. Well then I got online and Patrick was on, and I told him of calling Martindale a bitch, and he was like "he wanted to apologize to you." and I was like "Ah fuck srsly?"

Tomorrow I'm gonna call him. But until then I'm just going to go over it again and again in my head.
i feel awful though, cause he finally was gonna apologize for being such a douche and what did I do? was an equal amount of douche.

god i'm an idiot

13/3/2007 - Balls, Balls, Balls

11/3/2007 - breakfast in america

9/3/2007 - Best Friends

Dear Diary,
it has just begun to truly set in. I've possibly lost forever the two loves of my life, one to an insane meddling mother, and the other to a decision we both made. I can't bring myself to say that we're just friends. Just friends is going to drain me. Just friends is the opposite of what I need.
I hope he marries her.
i hope he's fucking happy with her
happier than he could ever be with me

Edit:
I think I should sort of add on to this.
I'm kind of depressed because I keep reminding myself that this means no more "baby"s, no more foxes, no more... no more goodnights accompanied with promises of sweet dreams and hopeless love. And even though we might still talk, that's just as hard.
He doesn't love me anymore, and maybe he never did. Maybe it was all a joke gone too far.

Forever lost,
andi

6/3/2007 - I feel sick

betrayal sucks
especially when you betray yourself.

and the worst way to do that is by breaking the lock on your wrists with an exacto blade.

I don't know how to say what I feel right now. It's a mix of heartbreak and confusion, along with a sinking feeling that I'm not as important as I thought I was. A feeling that I absolutely have to cry and I absolutely can't. This sucks. All I'm living for is a stupid, stupid dream. Something [and someone] that I never should have given up everything to love. All I'm living for is a dream and it's time to wake up. I'm going to be another no-shot nobody. I'm going to die alone. I'm going to die and nobody is going to care.

i'm sorry everyone
i keep telling myself:
-you're invisible
-you're useless

and i wish i could say i never wrote a thing for him
but that would be just another lie i told myself
told everyone
so i wouldn't have to see the truth

forever,
Andi Jade Palmer

4/3/2007 - Let's Write A Rap Song!

3/3/2007 - The Same Three People

2/3/2007 - For Sure, I'm About to Vomit

1/3/2007 - Birthday Wishes

28/2/2007 - Car Crash Halls

Dear Diary,
Trying to figure out if this is all a dream or not.

In exactly 24 hours I officially turn fourteen. It's weird. Weird weird weird. I remember 1997, and then suddenly it's ten years ago. Freaky. Time's flying before my eyes. How long ago was it Christmas 2005? That feels like two weeks ago. I still look at my bass with that new feeling.

And then there's Jase. We've known each other for more or less [both of us forgot] a year. It sure as hell doesn't feel like that. Is that love or just dishonesty? (H)

I just feel so... un-fourteen. It feels like I should be turning 25. And not like, body wise. Mental wise. I don't think fourteen. I'm so over sex, and I've never done it.

I'm sane to the point of insanity.

-ANDI

25/2/2007 - Well Done Hurley

24/2/2007 - Annoy Myself

Oh oh lord.
Dear Diary,
America's. Next. Top. Model (H) has inspired me to take a zillion pictures of myself again. My stomach's about to explode. And I am sorry, but not really. I don't know why I feel the way I do today. It's weird.

You all suck.
(L)





Yeah, you all suck.

23/2/2007 - Blog!

Dead Diary,
That was actually a typo. Anyway.

Dear Diary,
This is the entry where I'm supposed to say something, anything, and nothing comes to mind. I'm losing my touch for writing. The electricity's stopped pumping up the wiring, the battery's gone dead. I belong in a MENTAL institution. MENTAL had to be capitalized because I usually only capitalize things when they're a lie, or I'm excited. I really don't belong in a MENTAL institution. Know why? I'm not crazy, assholes. I'm ordinary. EverydayAndi, the stupid little kid, tousled hair and cherry cheeks, drinking up the energy of everyone else. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.

I don't want anyone reading this to think they brought it on me. In fact, I don't want anyone to think at all. Thinking's the death of civilization and you all know it. Get back to fucking and keeping yourselves alive.

It's like, love's only an idea. Time, death, heaven, hell, God, all an idea. Pretty much everything important to you is just a stupid concept!

Overexposed. I just peeled back the covers to reveal the sweating corpse of immortality. What are you gonna do about it?

ANDI

18/2/2007 - Smiles on our Faces

9/2/2007 - NEW FRIEND

Ohhhh:

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k278/xxSupxDogxx/Picture38.jpg
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k278/xxSupxDogxx/pupppp.jpg

This is Gatsby. He is a fine gentleman. He looks good in argyle sweaters and green coats.
Him and I are tight.

Maybe you can join us for badminton at the club tomorrow.

-Andi J and J Gatsby

7/2/2007 - There's Never Any Time

my problems: best expressed in lyrics
overstated overdressed
using the words that I've already sung and the music that already plays in my head

and the glare of the computer screen
is my best friend my enemy
what monster became the writer, that made me rhyme my reason?

someone said the bombshells had sunk
i believed it and cried for the lost soul

please, play, pause me
oh and dependency on pills and parties and people I've known but never felt
the way that I move is a call to arms, the way my lips move, allowed in the bar

and just by the look in my eyes
your ban tell how I'm pushing for recognition
pushing to get out the notion that I am not your average brittany jean

so the bombshells sunk into the sea of sensibility
covered their legs with blankets and pillows

miss, miss me, miss calculation, miss, miss me, miss take, miss stress, miss trust
oh what is it worth to fight
for a right that you haven't the heart to admit that you've lost
in a game of wits, where the winner is truly the loser,
and you wonder who the losses went to
when in truth they were tucked up your sleeve

and the bombshells have sunk to their prior positions
and given up all of their prior volitions
for money for children for marriages torn
by the way that their husbands leave for the offices of shame/pity/scorn

and god. what have we done?
to ourselves
what i did to you to leave you believing that it's all your fault
but who started... who, if not the reason for l[ea]iving

confessions
leaning towards the side of hell
i am going downward,
downward
to beyond logistics and lividlylove.

lividlylove.
is there anythingbetter to describe us,
you and me,
and baby makes three